


Not Quite A Fairytale by Jamie

by everystarinthesky_archive



Category: Dream Street (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-01
Updated: 2002-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29054145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everystarinthesky_archive/pseuds/everystarinthesky_archive
Summary: Fame has turned Jesse McCartney into a stubborn, selfish person. Audrey Harper is strong-willed, passionate, and just as stubborn as Jesse. What happens when they are thrown together?
Relationships: Jesse McCartney/Original Female Character (OFC)





	1. Chapter 1

_I thought love was only true in fairy tales_

_Meant for someone else but not for me_

_Love was out to get me_

_That's the way it seemed_

_Disappointment haunted all my dreams_

**Presenting…**

**.n o t q u i t e a f a i r y t a l e.**

**Jesse McCartney**

**Fame has turned him into a selfish, stubborn, heartless person who doesn’t know how to deal with his problems. He’s the damsel in distress in this story.**

**Audrey Harper**

**Strong-willed, passionate, and just as stubborn as Jesse, she says what she means and means what she says. She’s the knight _ette_ in shining armor in this story. **

**What happens when these two are thrown together? Can Audrey teach Jesse how to think of people other than himself? Can she teach him how to trust?**

****

**_Can they teach each other how to love?_ **

****

Lyrics from “I’m A Believer” by the Monkees”


	2. Chapter 2

**c** **h a p t e r o n e**

**f** **i r s t i m p r e s s i o n s**

"Give me a coffee," Jesse McCartney said impatiently to one of the backstage hands that was handling the food and drink table.

The woman handed him the coffee quickly, and he immediately rushed off to the stage; he was late for sound check. It was seven o'clock in the morning and that night was the first concert of the summer tour for Dream Street. After the sound check, they had an interview and a meeting. After that, there was an autograph signing at a nearby mall and, finally, the concert.

Dream Street had rocketed to fame after the release of their second CD in May of 2002. Greg, Frankie, Chris, and Matt hadn't really changed with their new fame; they just made more money, worked more, and played at larger venues. Jesse, on the other hand, had some problems. As a fifteen year old and the youngest of the group, he had trouble dealing with stardom. He became over-confident and selfish. He seemed to be heartless; he didn't care about anyone and showed no guilt when he did something wrong. He often became angry and had tantrums about little things. By the start of the tour in late June, Jesse had transformed into a totally different person than he had been before fame.

Jesse hurried down a hallway, not even watching where he was going. A stagehand carrying a very heavy piece of equipment was teetering down the hall at the same time. As the two passed each other, their shoulders brushed and Jesse's coffee tipped, spilling on his clean white shirt.

"What the hell are you doing?" he shouted. "Will you watch where you're going? Move out of the way when I walk by! You have to treat me with respect! You work for me, you know!"

Without another word, Jesse threw the rest of his coffee on the ground and stormed off onto the stage. The other guys, who were already onstage and had heard Jesse's latest tantrum, were awkwardly silent as he walked onstage. They were very concerned about Jesse; everyone was. They were all afraid to talk to him about it; sure, they had each tried (nervously), but no one could convince him that his recent behavior was completely ridiculous. No one could find out what was wrong with him.

"All right, guys," Denise (Dream Street’s manager) directed, breaking the silence. "Uh, let's run through that song one more time."

"What song?" Jesse said impatiently.

"Maybe if you got here on time you would know," Greg snapped, annoyed.

"Shut the hell up," Jesse said, narrowing his eyes.

"He's right," Chris said, backing up Greg. "Come on, Jesse. Isn't this stuff important to you?"

"What is this, Bash Jesse Day?" Jesse said.

"We're just worried," Frankie said.

"You have nothing to worry about!" Jesse shot back.

"We obviously do," Greg said.

"Don't worry about my life!"

"We have to; all our lives are affected by it!"

"It's none of your business!"

"Yes it is!"

"GUYS, SHUT UP!" Matt said. Everyone was quiet. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Matt lowered his voice to a normal level. "Look, can we just finish sound check?"

All the guys mumbled something and they went through sound check without saying a word to each other, singing and dancing with fake enthusiasm.

Finally they finished and were leaving the stage when they saw a girl on the other side of the stage, talking to Denise.

"Who's that?" Matt asked Frankie. "A fan?"

"I don't know," Frankie said, shaking his head. "Let's go find out. We have a little while before the interview."

The two boys headed across the stage to where the girl and Denise were talking.

"Oh, hey, guys," Denise said. She looked at the girl. "Oh, I should probably introduce you now. You're all supposed to be introduced at the meeting later on, but it doesn't matter. Frankie, Chris, this is Audrey."

The girl smiled. She wasn't beautiful, but she was pretty. She had wavy brown hair and deep brown eyes. Her smile was big and friendly, and she had dimples in her cheeks. "Hey, guys. It's nice to meet you," she said.

"Hey," Matt said. Frankie said the same.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking... what are you here for?" Matt asked.

Audrey exchanged a funny, serious look with Denise. Both of them nodded slightly. Audrey looked back at the boys. "Oh, I'm your new... uh... what’s it called?" she said, laughing. The question was directed at Denise.

Denise thought for a minute. "I don't know. Does it have a name?"

"I don't know," Audrey said, shrugging. "Oh well. Well, anyway, at the start of the show I go onstage and say some stuff to the fans to get them all pumped up. And then after the openers are done I go back on and get them really pumped up and I introduce you guys."

"That’s cool," Frankie said. "Guys! Let's go! We have to do the interview!" Greg called from the other side of the stage.

"Well, we've got to go," Matt said. "It was nice meeting you."

"You too," Audrey said as they walked away.

“Why didn’t you want to tell them why you’re really here?” Denise asked.

“Because no one needs to know,” Audrey said. “It’s stupid and meaningless and I just want to forget about it.”

“I won’t say anything,” Denise said quietly.

* * *

The interview was a typical interview - "How has your new fame changed your lives?" "Are you excited about the tour?" "Do any of you have girlfriends?"

Soon it was time for the meeting. The boys headed to a conference room, where they met with Denise and Audrey.

"All right, guys," Denise said. "This is going to be a quick meeting. We just want to introduce you to Audrey."

"Audrey," Chris repeated. "Nice to meet you."

"Audrey is going to be-" Denise continued, but Greg interrupted him.

"Oh, Matt and Frankie already told us. She's here to pump up the crowd, right?"

"Basically," Denise said, nodding. "Most bands have someone to do that. We figured we'd give it a try.”

"Cool,” Matt said.

"Well, it's nice to meet you guys. I know Frankie and Matt, but what are your names?" Audrey said.

"I'm Chris," Chris said, smiling.

"Greg," Greg said, flashing a friendly grin.

"Jesse," Jesse mumbled, staring at the table.

Audrey was looking carefully at Jesse. She could tell he had some issues.

"Audrey is going to be staying on your bus as well," Denise added. "It would be pointless to give her her own bus. And all the openers are sharing a bus, and there's no room on theirs. Yours is the only one with an open bunk."

"We don't mind," Frankie said. "Having a girl on the bus'll be cool."

"Okay, well, if you're all acquainted, we've got to head over to the mall," Denise said. "It's almost 3:00."

Everyone crowded into a limo and headed to the mall. As soon as they entered the mall parking lot, Audrey saw - girls. Tons of girls. Girls with face paint spelling their favorite member's name, girls with posters and CDs, girls wearing practically no clothes - tons and tons of girls. All were heading for the front entrance of the mall, but they all turned and began screaming and chasing the limo as it entered the parking lot.

The limo proceeded to a back entrance blocked off by cones; only the limo was allowed through. The girls were stopped before they could reach their precious band. The limo pulled right up to a door and everyone climbed out and headed inside.

They were led to a CD store through the back way; the store itself had its bars shut, keeping the fans out until Dream Street arrived. There was no table or chairs or anything, and it seemed the CD store people were not yet ready for the signing.

"It's going to be a few minutes," Denise said. "They don't even have a table out yet."

Audrey and the five guys of Dream Street were just hanging out in the store when the topic of favorite bands came up.

"I love Sum 41," Audrey said.

"Yeah, right," Chris said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Audrey challenged.

"You just don't seem like the type. You seem more like a shy, giggly little teenybopper."

"Me? Shy? Giggly? Teenybopper? You have to be kidding me," Audrey said incredulously. The two weren't really fighting; they were just kidding around.

"Prove it," Chris said, raising his eyebrows.

"How?" Audrey shot back, raising her eyebrows.

Chris laughed and thought for a minute. "Well, to prove that you're not shy, you have to do something embarrassing. And to prove you're not a teenybopper, you have to do something with music other than teenybopper music." He thought for another minute before snapping his fingers and smiling triumphantly. "I've got it. We'll get you a microphone, and you can sing… um… 'Fat Lip'. It'll prove to us - and all those _hundreds_ of fans waiting outside - that you're not shy or a teenybopper."

Chris and Audrey both glanced outside. There were tons of people, and this would be very embarrassing if she did it. Chris expected her to back down, and a cocky look came over his face.

"So, what do you say?" he said.

Audrey looked him straight in the eye. "Is that the best you could come up with?" The other four guys burst out laughing, and Chris's eyes widened. "I'll do it," she said.

Chris went off to find a microphone and ask the CD store people to put on "Fat Lip". He came back with the microphone and handed it to Audrey. "Let's see what you got," he said.

Audrey smiled confidently and moved closer to the fans outside, just to spite Chris. As the Sum 41 song blared in the store, Audrey sang every word, even hamming it up a little by dancing.

At the end of the song, the five guys applauded. "I have to give you props for that," Chris admitted. "You got me. You're not a giggly little teenybopper. You're cool."

"The almighty Chris has deemed me cool," Audrey said. "I feel so special!”

The guys laughed and could tell that Audrey would be a fun person to be around. She even had Jesse, who hadn’t cracked a smile the whole time, laughing. 

* * *

A little while later, the guys were seated at a table and the fans were let in. Audrey roamed freely around the store, looking at CDs and observing the fans. Some of them were funny, like the ones who kept singing Dream Street songs; others were nice, and chatted with her about the guys; and then there were the witchy ones.

One particular group of girls had been staring her down ever since they had seen her. They were wearing little tube tops and miniskirts and had about ten pounds of eyeshadow on.

After the girls had gotten their autographs and ten seconds of glory with the guys, they whispered something to each other and walked over to Audrey.

“Who are you?” one girl asked rudely.

Audrey looked at her. “Why do you want to know?”  
  
“We saw you in here with the guys before. Who are you?”

“I’m Audrey. I introduce them,” she said carefully.

“Stay away from Chris,” one other girl said.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Audrey said. She had no interest in Chris, but it was the principle. She wasn’t going to let this girl push her around.

The girls launched a string of curses at her.

“Why don’t you girls put some real clothes on and wipe off that eyeshadow. Who do you think you are, anyway?” Audrey shot back.

The girls had nothing to say to this and walked away, flipping their hair and giving Audrey death stares.

“Jeez,” Audrey muttered. “Some of these girls are evil.”

Audrey strolled over to Denise. “How’re things going?” she asked.

“Great. The fans are all having fun. None of them have done anything really wacky yet. The guys seem to be enjoying it,” Denise said.

Audrey looked at the guys. They were all smiling and chatting with the fans –except Jesse. He had an unhappy look on his face and was signing the autographs without even glancing at the fans. “What’s wrong with Jesse?” Audrey asked curiously.

Denise looked at him and sighed. “Jesse is having a tough time adjusting to his new life, with the fame and everything. No one exactly knows the problem, but he’s never in a good mood anymore. He doesn’t crack jokes. If something doesn’t go his way, he flips out. It’s really a big problem. This morning before you got here, he threw a fit over a spilled coffee!”

Audrey looked at him carefully. “I could tell he had some problems.”

“Speaking of problems,” Denise said, “are you sure you want to just pretend that there’s no other reason for you to be here?”

Audrey hesitated. “Yeah. I mean, I don’t want to lie. I like these guys so far and I’m sure we’ll be friends, and I don’t want to lie to them. But every time I think about what happened, I get really mad. And it’s embarrassing, too!” Audrey stopped and looked at Denise. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t want to hear this. You’re friends with them.”

Denise smiled. “Oh, Audrey, it’s okay. I know you think what they did was wrong and way out of line, but you have to look at it from their point of view. I’m not going to say anything else now because I don’t want to get you mad – believe me, I know you when you get mad – but if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Audrey nodded. “Thanks, Denise.” Her gaze landed on Jesse again. There was just something about that boy that intrigued her.

* * *

After the signing, they rushed back to the arena to get ready for the concert. What Audrey was going to say was already planned out. She had been practicing for a few weeks, and it wouldn’t be much trouble. She wasn’t shy, even if she was in front of thousands of people. She had worked in theater before, which helped.

Audrey stood backstage, waiting to go on. The opening acts had finished about a half hour before, and Dream Street was getting ready.

Just then one of the backstage hands walked over to her. “Dream Street is ready,” he said, staring at a clipboard. He looked up at her. “You can go on now.” Another backstage person turned on her headset, and she walked toward the stage.

"What's up, Philly?" Audrey shouted, running onto the stage. The fans screamed, knowing their beloved boys would be onstage soon.

"Let's give it up one more time for the opening acts!" she said, and the fans applauded.

"All right, I think I know what you've all been waiting for. So here they are, the boys you love, Dre-" she said, freezing as something to the side of the stage caught her eye.

"What?" she said incredulously. She ran to the side of the stage, pretending to listen to something someone told her. "You want me to tell the fans?" she said.

Audrey walked timidly back to the center of the stage. "Uh," she started. "I don't know how to say this. But... Dream Street... is refusing to come onstage. They don’t think you fans are being loud enough tonight!”

Some of the fans actually believed her and started screeching.

“What are we going to do? They’re not going to do the show unless you guys show them that you want them to!” Audrey paced back and forth, pretending to think.

“Okay, how about this. On the count of three, you guys scream “We want Dream Street” as loud as you possibly can! Ready? One… two… three!”

Audrey laughed; the crowd’s screams were loud and high-pitched enough to shatter windows.

Audrey looked offstage, pretending to listen to something someone said. “They say it wasn’t loud enough! Come on, louder this time! One… two… three!”

The fans screamed “WE WANT DREAM STREET” again, louder this time. Audrey didn’t think it was possible to get any louder.

“They’re still not convinced!” she said. “One more time! One, two, three!”

The screaming was the loudest thing Audrey had ever heard in her life. She almost had to cover her ears, it was so loud.

The music to “It Happens Everytime” started up as the guys danced onto the stage.

"All right, guys, you're a great audience! Have fun tonight! Finally, I give you Greg, Frankie, Jesse, Matt, and Chris - Dream Street!"

Greg started singing, and the concert had begun. Audrey went backstage, grabbed a bottle of water, and sat on a chair by the side of the stage to watch.

"You did great," Denise said, walking over. "Energy, enthusiasm. The fans are really pumped."

"Thanks," Audrey said, watching the boys.

As Audrey watched the show, she became more and more amazed at what the boys could do. They all completely radiated confidence. They gave their all, trying to make the show as special as they could. They were not afraid to sing and dance - what teenage guys are like that?

"You guys did great," Audrey said as they walked offstage after the first set.

"Thanks," Greg said.

"Thanks," Chris said.

"Thanks," Frankie said.

"Thanks," Matt said.

Jesse glanced at her and walked by.

"Hey, Jesse, you did great," Audrey said loudly, making sure he heard this time. There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice, since she knew he heard her the first time.

Jesse looked at her questionably, considering whether or not she was being sarcastic. "Yeah," he mumbled, walking away.

"Someone's got an attitude problem," Audrey said under her breath, but loud enough so Jesse could hear.

"Are you talking to me?" Jesse said, turning around sharply.

"Yes," Audrey said shortly.

"You shouldn't be talking to me like that."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm famous."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"It means you have to treat me with respect."

"I only have to _treat_ you with respect if you _earn_ my respect," Audrey said. "Being famous does not earn my respect by any means."

Jesse raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me? No one is supposed to argue with me."

"Well I'm not the kind of girl who always does what she's supposed to, and if you're going to treat me like that, then you better stay out of my way," Audrey said coldly, walking away.

As Audrey wandered aimlessly backstage, she thought about Jesse. He'd had an attitude ever since she'd met him. She didn't understand him; was he just in a bad mood, or was he always like this? Had she been too harsh on him? She always said what she thought. Audrey shook her head. Whatever. He deserved it. 


	3. Chapter 3

**c** **h a p t e r t w o**

**s** **o c o n f u s i n g**

After the concert everyone headed straight for the buses; they had to make it to Cincinnati by tomorrow morning. The guys decided to be gentlemen and let Audrey take the first shower. After she got out, she put on some comfy pants and a T-shirt and threw her wet hair into a ponytail.

Audrey watched TV, munching on some chips until the guys all finished their showers. When they got out, they all discussed what to do.

“We could watch a movie,” Greg suggested.

“We could play a game,” Frankie said.

“Do you have any video games?” Audrey asked.

The guys looked mildly surprised. “You don’t play video games?” she asked unsurely.

“Yeah, we play video games,” Chris said. “It’s just-“

“We, uh, were trying to think of things you would want to do. Things a girl would like,” Matt said. When Audrey didn’t say anything, he added, “Most girls don’t like video games.”

Audrey laughed. “I’m not like that. You don’t have to be afraid to act normal around me. I’ll play video games. I’ll watch guy movies. I won’t get grossed out if you _burp_ or something. Relax.”

The guys laughed. “Okay, that’s cool,” Chris said. “We have X-Box. Wanna play NBA 2K2?”

“Sure,” Audrey said. “Who wants to be on my team?”

“I’ll be on your team,” Matt said.

“Oh, no, you don’t want Matt on your team!” Greg said. “He sucks at this.”

“Shut up, Greg,” Matt said, punching him in the arm. “Why don’t you be on Chris’s team and we’ll just see who sucks?”

Frankie and Jesse agreed to play the winners and they started the game.

“You’re going down,” Chris said, shaking his head.

“I don’t think so,” Audrey said, laughing as her player stole the ball from Chris’s and passed it to Matt’s, who made a quick basket.

“You did not just do that!” Chris said.

Audrey and Matt crushed Chris and Greg 74-42.

“Are you guys ready to be _defeated_?” Audrey said.

“I don’t think so,” Frankie said.

“Yeah, me and Frankie are gonna kick your asses!” Jesse added.

“Sure, sure,” Matt said, shaking his head.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Audrey said. They started the game.

Jesse’s player had the ball first. He dribbled down the court, and Audrey elbowed Jesse in the side just as he was about to shoot. His finger hit the Pass button instead, and Audrey’s player ended up with the ball.

“No, you didn’t!” Jesse said, laughing.

“Yes, I did,” Audrey said. Just as her player was about to shoot the ball, Jesse grabbed the controller from her hand. Her player turned the ball over.

“That wasn’t fair!” Audrey protested.

“Yes, it was,” Jesse said, smiling. “You did it to me!”

Audrey laughed. “I know, I know.”

Frankie and Jesse were definitely better than Greg and Chris. The score was tied 68-68 with ten seconds left. Jesse’s player had the ball and was about to take a shot when Audrey’s player stuffed him, dribbled down the court, and made a three-pointer on the buzzer.

“And we win it on the buzzer!” Matt shouted, jumping up.

“I stuffed you so bad!” Audrey joked.

Frankie laughed good-naturedly. Jesse, on the other hand, threw down his controller and walked into the other section of the bus – the place where all the bunks were. Everyone stopped laughing and talking and looked at each other.

“What’s his problem?” Audrey asked softly. “It was just a game. Was I being mean when I said that thing about stuffing him?”

“No, you weren’t mean. He just… doesn’t like it when things don’t go his way,” Frankie said, shrugging uncomfortably.

Audrey bit her lip and looked in the direction Jesse had gone. She stood up, brushed off her jeans, and followed him.

“Jesse?” she said, walking cautiously in the direction he had gone. 

“What do you want?” he said from behind a closed curtain in one of the top bunks.

Audrey walked over to him and opened the curtain a little, peeking in at him. He was lying on his stomach, his face turned toward her. When he saw her looking at him, he turned his head in the other direction.

“Jesse,” Audrey said, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. But I was just kidding, and you shouldn’t have taken it seriously. And if you’re mad about losing – well, then you really just need to get over that.”

Jesse didn’t say anything.

“Look,” Audrey said. “It’s obvious that there’s something wrong. I know I just met you, but I can see that you have a problem. You gave me an attitude when I complimented you and you acted like you were better than me. Then you got mad when I beat you and made a little joke about it.”

She waited for him to say something. He didn’t.

“I know we got off on the wrong foot,” Audrey said. “But I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge. I’m just going to forget about the attitude that you gave me today, okay?”

She waited again. He didn’t say anything again.

“Okay, fine. Just remember that I’m forgetting about how you treated me today. Oh – but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to find out what’s wrong with you. I can tell that you seriously need help, Jesse.”

Audrey began walking toward the room the other guys were in. She stopped right before she walked out and turned back to Jesse. “I’m going to find out your story, Jesse McCartney, whether you like it or not. Because I got a glimpse of the person _underneath_ the attitude before, and I’d like to see a lot more of it.”

She headed back into the other room, where they played a few more games of basketball on the X-Box.

“I’m pretty tired,” Chris said, stretching, after they finished the last game.

“Yeah,” Frankie agreed, glancing at the clock, “It’s 1:30.”

“Which bed’s mine?” Audrey asked, following the guys into the other section.

“Um,” Matt said, glancing around. “Well, my bed’s over there, under Chris’s… Greg’s is over Frankie’s… so I guess you can have the one under Jesse’s.”

“Okay,” Audrey said, opening the curtain and peering in at the small but comfortable-looking bed. Before she climbed in, she peeked inside the crack in Jesse’s curtain. He was sound asleep, breathing heavily.

Audrey ducked down, climbing into her bed, and lay there awake. She couldn’t sleep; so much had happened that day, and she needed to think.

This whole situation was a little awkward and had happened so quickly. After what had happened with her parents, she had just been thrown into it. The guys made her feel comfortable, though, and she could tell they would be good friends quickly.

Jesse was a problem, though. He had been very rude to her, but she saw something under his attitude. While he was performing onstage, he was concentrating so hard on performing well. He was trying to please the fans, winking at them and reaching into the audience to grab their hands. Audrey had seen the sparkle in his eye when the fans reacted to this with their high-pitched screams. This had shown her that he really loved performing, however horrible his attitude about it was.

Then there was the video game incident. Jesse had been having fun just before he got mad; he and Audrey were even kidding around while they were playing. As soon as his team actually lost, though, and things didn’t go his way, he flipped out.

Audrey couldn’t figure Jesse out. But she had seen enough of an intriguing personality from him to want to find out more.

After thinking about everything, Audrey tried to clear her mind and fall asleep. She couldn’t do it, though; the combination of being in a new environment and everything that had gone on that day made her restless.

Audrey sighed, climbing out of bed. The guys were all sleeping like babies, and they didn’t notice her waking up. She walked into the other room, got a glass of water from the refrigerator, and sat down at the table.

Audrey glanced at her bags; they were piled in the corner, since she hadn’t had a chance to unpack yet. She got an idea and went over to her bags, looking for something.

Audrey pulled what she was looking for out of one of her bags. Holding it up in the moonlight to see it better, Audrey whispered what it said to herself. “ _Beauty and the Beast_ ,” she read off the movie case, satisfied.

One of the quirky things about Audrey was her love for the Disney cartoon movies – everything from _Lady and the Tramp_ to _The Sword in the Stone_. It wasn’t that she dreamed of a prince to come and take her away like in the movies; their innocence and one-of-a-kind plots just interested her for some reason. She usually watched them to calm herself down when she was stressed out.

Audrey popped the tape in the VCR in the TV. She turned down the volume so the boys wouldn’t wake up and smiled as the familiar strains of the Disney song and the image of Tinkerbell and the castle came on the screen.

After the movie Audrey felt a little better. Being around something familiar comforted her, and she felt calm enough to go to bed. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

The next day seemed almost the same as the first. Audrey hung out and laughed with all the guys, and Jesse actually seemed to be in a pretty good mood. After sound check, Denise came over to Audrey.

“Audrey,” she said. “Your tutoring is going to start at seven tomorrow morning and go to twelve, just to let you know.”

“Tutoring?” Audrey asked. “Why am I being tutored?”

Denise raised her eyebrows. “Your parents requested that you be tutored. You know you didn’t finish your freshman year. They want you to be caught up.”

“Denise,” Audrey complained, “do you understand how boring it’s going to be? Me and some old, strict person talking about geometry and history for five hours?”

Denise bit her lip. “Um, actually,” she said tentatively. “Well, I know you don’t really get along with Jesse. But… he’s being tutored with you.”

“What?” Audrey said. “I can’t learn anything with him around!”

“He got about as far as you did in school last year, and he needed a tutor, too, so it obviously makes sense for you two to be tutored together,” Denise said. “Please, Audrey. Just be civil around him while you’re being tutored.”

“I can be civil,” Audrey said. “He’s the one with the problem.”

Denise sighed. “Just try to get along, okay?”

“I’ll try,” Audrey said. “But I’m not making any promises.”

* * *

The next day Audrey woke up to Jesse poking her in the arm, an impatient look on his face.

“Wh-” she started to say, but then stopped, remembering the tutoring thing. She groaned, running her hands through her hair. “Okay, fine, I’m getting up.”

“Hurry up,” Jesse grumbled. “It’s already 6:50 and the tutor’s here.”

Audrey shook her head, wiping the sleep from her eyes. She stepped out of bed, got changed, brushed her teeth, and walked off the bus. They were stopped in the parking lot of a Marriott; they would finally be resting for a day at a hotel. They had arrived there at about 4:00 in the morning, but the guys and Audrey had just slept the rest of the night on the bus.

Audrey walked out, following Jesse, who had waited impatiently for her.

They walked quietly for awhile, until Jesse broke the silence. “Why are you being tutored?”

“Because I didn’t finish my freshman year,” Audrey responded carefully.

“Well, obviously,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes. “I mean, I know I didn’t finish my freshman year because I was never in school, with the tours and the interviews and the appearances and everything. But why weren’t you in school?”

Audrey bit her lip. She couldn’t tell anyone that yet, especially not someone she barely knew. “Um,” she said, trying to think of an excuse. She looked at Jesse. He was staring at her.

“Uh,” she said, looking at him with pleading eyes.

Audrey saw a look she’d never seen on his face before cross it. “Nevermind,” he said, shrugging and half-smiling. “Just forget it.”

“Thanks,” Audrey said, relieved. “Do you know where you’re going?” she asked.

“Of course I do,” Jesse said. “We’re working in my hotel room. The tutor’s waiting up there.”

Audrey followed him silently the rest of the way. When they reached the room, they were greeted by a middle-aged woman who surprised Audrey. Audrey expected her to be an uptight teacher, like the ones she was used to at her old school, but she was nothing like that. She was wearing jeans and a friendly smile. She seemed really laid-back.

“I’m Caroline Chapman,” the woman introduced herself. “Call me Caroline.”

“I’m Audrey.”

“I’m Jesse.”

Caroline nodded and sat down at a table, gesturing for them to do the same. She began flipping through some notes. “You both seem to be on about the same level in most of your subjects – Geometry, Biology, History, Spanish. Why don’t we start with some English, though?”

“Sounds good,” Audrey said, shrugging.

Caroline pulled out two books and gave one to Jesse and one to Audrey. “’Romeo and Juliet’,” she said. “Required reading for all freshmen almost everywhere in the country. Are you familiar with it?”

“I’ve read it,” Audrey said.

“I’ve read parts,” Jesse said.

Caroline nodded. “Okay, then, what is this play about?”

“It’s about love,” Jesse said. “Two people who love each other. A lot. They betray their families and then kill themselves because they love each other so much.”

“That’s so not true,” Audrey said. “That’s why I think this play is so bad. It’s totally wrong in its representation of love. I mean, Romeo and Juliet meet each other at a party and fall in love? A couple days later, they _kill_ themselves because they can’t bear to live without each other? That’s not what real love is about.”

Caroline nodded. “Okay. What’s real love about?”

“Real love is about trust. It’s about knowing you could tell the person anything and believe anything they say, no matter what,” Audrey said. She went on when Caroline didn’t say anything. “It’s about being able to spend more than ten minutes with a person without getting mad or annoyed at something they do. It’s about always _having_ something to talk about but not always _needing_ to talk about something. It’s about just… knowing that that person is always there for you. And always being there for them, no matter what.”

Caroline nodded. “Okay. That’s your opinion. Jesse? What do you think? What is love?”

Jesse raised his eyebrows skeptically. “What does this have to do with school?”

Caroline smiled. “I don’t like to teach traditionally. I’m not big on the actual play, ‘Romeo and Juliet’; I like to find out its relevance to our lives. If you even think there is a relevance,” she added, glancing at Audrey. “I think Audrey makes a good point there. Romeo and Juliet’s love is not a strong portrayal of real love, if you look at love her way. How do you look at love?”

Jesse shrugged and looked down. “I don’t know. Love is about knowing you’re meant to be with someone, having chemistry with them. It’s about… like… a spark, I guess. Being committed to the other person. And romance, and fireworks when you kiss. Being willing to do anything for them... I really can’t describe it. I haven’t felt it before. But, you know, this is just what I think.” Jesse looked at Caroline and Audrey. Caroline nodded encouragingly. “I guess – what I’m trying to say – love is like… this magic. You want to be with someone, and you know you have to be with them. It’s just right. And once you realize that, you want to be committed with your whole heart. If you don’t want to be that committed, then it’s not real love.”

“I think he’s wrong,” Audrey said abruptly. “I mean, sure, it sounds sweet and romantic and everything. But is it really like that? Do you really just know when you see them? Doesn’t it take time and building up a real relationship?”

“If two people are meant to be together,” Jesse argued, “they don’t need time. They feel chemistry and are willing to do anything, right away, for that person.”

“How can people be meant to be together? Nothing is meant to be. You decide everything in your life. If you want to be with someone, you can be with them. You don’t _have_ to be with someone,” Audrey said.

Jesse was about to open his mouth to protest, but Caroline interrupted. “That’s enough debating for now. You learned something didn’t you? Fate is a major theme in ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Its relevance in your life depends on whether you actually believe it exists.” She smiled. “Now do you understand the way I like to teach?”

“Yeah,” Jesse said, nodding. “Not too bad.”

Audrey nodded, too, agreeing. “I get it. I still don’t agree with anything he says.”

Caroline laughed. “That’s enough English for today. Let’s do some math, okay?”

Jesse and Audrey grumbled a little but obliged. After the five hours of tutoring ended, Jesse agreed to walk Audrey out to the tour bus to bring in some of her stuff.

“Caroline’s a pretty good teacher,” Audrey said. “I thought it was going to be really boring, but it wasn’t that bad.”

“It wasn’t,” Jesse said. “I was actually interested in what we were learning.”

“Me, too,” Audrey said, smiling at Jesse. She looked at the ground, and then looked at him. “Hey,” she said, “we actually agreed on something.”

Jesse shrugged. “Yeah,” he said. He was silent for the rest of the walk.

As Audrey lay in bed that night, she thought about Jesse. She couldn’t figure him out, but she couldn’t figure out how she felt about him, either. Sometimes she wanted to punch him in the face, he was so obnoxious. Other times she wanted to get to know him and find out more about him, because of the flashes of a good personality that she saw. What he did on the walk to the hotel that morning came to mind. He saw that she didn’t want to talk about why she needed a tutor and just let it go. Considering how he had acted before, that was surprising.

Audrey remembered the look on his face, the one she hadn’t seen before. As she drifted off to sleep, she finally realized what it was.

It was a look of compassion.


	4. Chapter 4

**c h a p t e r t h r e e**

**t e n s i o n**

The next few days passed by, and soon they were two weeks into the tour. Audrey was pretty comfortable, getting tutored, introducing the guys at their concerts, and hanging out with them while traveling all over the place. Jesse hadn’t gotten any better; in fact, he was getting worse. His “tantrums” were occurring more and more and over more trivial and more trivial things, and his “good” moments were few and far between. 

Audrey was constantly around other people and she never had time to herself. Because of this, she began making a habit of getting up in the middle of the night, every night, to just watch a Disney movie. None of the guys had found out about this yet, and she liked it that way.

During the days when Audrey didn’t have anything to do, she listened to the guys’ interviews and watched their photo shoots. She served as a little helper, getting them food and drinks whenever they wanted anything, since she was usually bored. One day, a mistake in a bagel order caused a huge argument with – who else? – Jesse.

It was early in the morning and the guys were doing a photo shoot. They sent Audrey down the street to Dunkin Donuts to get bagels, and it was raining, so she got them quickly and came back.

“Here you go,” she said as the guys sat down, taking a break from the photo shoot.

“Raisin for Greg,” she said, tossing him his bagel.

“Blueberry for Frankie,” she said, handing him his.

“Chocolate chip for Chris,” she said as he grabbed his out of her hands hungrily.

“And plain for Matt and Jesse… and me,” she said, handing the bagels to the last two guys and unwrapping her own.

Jesse unwrapped his bagel. He stared at it for a minute, then sniffed it tentatively. He looked up decisively. “I asked for a plain bagel,” he said, holding the bagel up, his eyebrows raised.

“That’s not plain?” Audrey said. “It looks like it to me.”

“No, this is an egg bagel. There’s a difference in the taste,” Jesse said. He eyed Audrey’s bagel. “I see you got _yourself_ a plain bagel.”

“Is it really that big of a deal?” Audrey asked, exasperated.

“You should give me your bagel. It’s your fault,” Jesse whined.

“No!” Audrey said. She didn’t really care about the bagel; it was the principle of the matter. Plus, she knew she was right –it wasn’t her fault, and there wasn’t a big difference between the bagels anyway - and she didn’t want to let Jesse step on her.

“ _Give me your bagel_ ,” Jesse said. “ _Now_. I want it _now_.”

“You can’t always get what you want!” Audrey said. “You have to learn to give in every once in awhile!”

“No,” Jesse said. “I always get what I want!”

Audrey lost her patience. She threw the bagel at Jesse. It hit him in the head before ricocheting onto the floor. “ _Take the damn bagel!_ ” she said. “I’m sick of this, and I’m sick of _you_!” With that, she stormed away. The other four guys looked at Jesse.

“Jes-“ Frankie said, but Jesse interrupted him.

Don’t start,” Jesse snapped, throwing the egg bagel on the ground next to the other bagel and folding his arms stubbornly. His stomach growled.

Matt sighed and tossed him half of his own plain bagel. Jesse bit into it without a ‘thank you’.

Meanwhile, Audrey went into the bathroom and sat there, trying to cool down, until the guys went back to the shoot.

That was just one of the many clashes between Audrey and Jesse. The reason they argued so much was because both were extremely opinionated and very stubborn; they were more alike than they realized.

Another time they stopped at a hotel for the night and all the guys and Audrey decided to all crowd into one room to watch a movie. Frankie and Greg went downstairs to the gift shop to get some candy and stuff, and Chris and Matt were talking to a couple fans downstairs. They left Audrey and Jesse to go up to the room and pick out the movie.

“I call the chair!” Audrey shouted, running into the room and plopping down in the chair. It was right in front of the TV. 

“I want the chair,” Jesse complained. “I’m tired. I work all day. You don’t do anything.”

Audrey raised her eyebrows and a hint of a smile played on her lips. “I got here first!” she said, breaking into laughter.

Jesse didn’t laugh.

Audrey rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you just sit on the bed?”

“It’s not in front of the TV,” Jesse pouted.

“Well, maybe I want to sit in front of the TV,” Audrey said, her voice rising.

“Why don’t you sit on the floor then?”

“Why don’t _you_ sit on the floor?”

“It’s too uncomfortable for me,” Jesse said.

“Don’t you ever think of anyone besides yourself?” Audrey said.

Jesse shook his head. “Just shut up.”

Audrey opened her mouth to say something back, but stopped and shook her head, massaging her temples. “You know what, Jesse? I don’t really feel like getting into a huge argument right now,” she said. She got up and walked out of the room, not coming back until the other guys returned.

Jesse’s tantrums weren’t always over petty things like bagels and chairs. Sometimes he had a reason to be upset; he just took it too far.

The guys and Denise were going over the set list for the next few concerts, with Audrey hanging out in the room. “We also have another change that we’ll most likely be keeping for the rest of the tour,” Denise said carefully. She hesitated, not looking at Jesse. “We’re removing ‘Gotta Get the Girl’ from the show completely.”

“What?” Jesse exclaimed. “Why? That’s my song!”

Denise sighed. “I know, Jesse. It’s not because it’s a bad song or anything – it _isn’t_. It just hasn’t been getting a huge response out of the fans lately, so we want to try some other songs in its place.”

“That’s not fair,” Jesse said, folding his arms and slouching in his chair in a huff. “My song has to be in the show.”

“Why?” Audrey said, annoyed. “If the show might be better without it, why does it have to be in the show?”

“You shut up, you have nothing to do with this,” Jesse shot back at her. “And it has to be in the show because _I want it there_. I’m an important person. This band _needs_ me. I’ll do whatever I want, because this band would be _nowhere_ without me!” With that, he stood up abruptly and walked out of the room.

“He is such a jackass,” Audrey muttered. “Who does he think he is?” she said. She followed him out of the room and jogged down the hall after him until she caught up. When she did, she tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and she immediately started in on him.

“What’s your problem?” Audrey snapped. “Who do you think you are? You can’t just do what you want, you know!”

“I can do whatever I want,” Jesse said. “No matter what you say. You’re nobody, you know. At least I’m somebody.”

“I don’t give a damn about what you think ‘being somebody’ means, because you have _problems_. You need to _grow up_ ,” Audrey said, losing her patience.

“You _don’t_ need to tell me what to do,” Jesse said. Before Audrey could say another word, he stormed away. Audrey didn’t bother to follow. She went back to the meeting room, but the guys were gone. Only Denise was left, sitting in a chair, typing something on her laptop.

Denise looked up as Audrey plunked herself down in a chair. “He makes me so mad,” she said, resting her chin on her arm.

Denise sighed. “I know he does. And I agree with you; he is a little too big for his britches, and he acts like a spoiled brat. But you can’t constantly pick fights with him.”

“It’s all his fault,” Audrey said. “He brings it upon himself. I mean, besides those temper tantrums - he has a horrible personality.”

Denise smiled. “A horrible personality? What kind of personality does he have?”

“He’s stubborn,” Audrey said, shaking her head. “Too stubborn for his own good. He doesn’t give in to anyone, no matter what. He always thinks he’s right. It’s his mouth that gets him in trouble-” she stopped suddenly, realizing what she was saying.

“His personality,” Denise said slowly, “is almost exactly like your personality. Don’t get all high-and-mighty on me. You’re not perfect. You’re not always right, either. Remember why you’re here in the first place,” she said gently.

Audrey frowned. “I guess,” she said. “But I’m not as bad as him.”

“Jesse’s not all bad,” Denise said.

Audrey snorted. “Yeah, right,” she said.

“Oh, come on,” Denise said. “He has to have been nice to you sometime, before this whole feud started. Right?”

Audrey thought back to the few minutes of fun they had while playing the video game, and the time he did something for her instead of him when he asked why she needed a tutor. He did show signs of sweetness at times, but the question was – was the sweetness just a fluke, or was there really something under all that attitude? “I guess,” Audrey mumbled. She thought for a minute, then shook her head. “I’m gonna go,” she said, standing up. “I’ll let you work.”

Audrey walked out of the room, her hands in her pockets.

“Oh, Audrey, wait,” Denise called. Audrey stuck her head in the door of the room. Denise had a huge smile on her face. “We’re having another meeting after sound check at about 3:00. I have some big news to tell everyone about.”

“Okay,” Audrey said, curious. Big news? She strolled down the hall, her hands in her pockets, wondering what the news could be.

* * *

At around three, Audrey headed back to the conference room. All the guys were there, but Denise wasn’t in the room.

“Do you know what the mystery news is?” Chris said as Audrey sat down.

“No,” Audrey said. “I’m pretty curious. Denise said it was big.”

“Maybe our album went platinum,” Frankie said.

“Maybe we were Number One on TRL,” Matt suggested.

“Maybe we’re opening for Britney,” Greg said, closing his eyes. Audrey smacked him. “Ouch,” he said. “Hey, a guy can dream, right?”

Just then, Denise burst into the room.

“I have big news,” she said, almost singing.

“What is it?” Greg said.

“This is suspenseful,” Chris joked. “I wanna know!”

Denise sat down and continued. “Well, you guys have obviously become way more famous in the past few months. You’re gaining a larger fan base, more publicity, and huge record sales. But I feel that something’s been missing. You’ve got the album and the fans, and you’ve got the interviews and the photo shoots. To really become – well, superstars, I guess I should say – you need a big concert.”

“A _big concert_?” Frankie repeated. “Like – where? When?”

Denise paused for effect. “Drumroll, please,” she said, kidding. Matt began drumming his fingers on the table. He stopped, and Denise continued. “In almost a month,” she said, “you will be playing a concert shown live on HBO at the _Garden_.”

“No way,” Chris said.

“Good _Lord_ ,” Greg breathed.

“Are you serious?” Frankie said.

“Oh my God,” Matt said.

“The Garden,” Jesse said in awe. “On HBO? Whoa. If we can pull this off… we’ll have really made it.”

“Congratulations, guys,” Audrey said, smiling. “This is awesome!”

“When is it?” Matt asked. “How long do we have to get ready?”

“Well, we’re going to have to work fast. You’re going to have almost no breathing room for the rest of the summer. Today’s what… July 2? The concert’s scheduled for August 1. It’s right in the middle of the tour.”

“So how are we gonna get ready in… twenty-nine days… if we’re doing concerts and interviews every day?” Chris asked.

“Well, these concerts are going to be part of it. The choreography for most of your songs is staying the same, except for maybe two or three. The thing that we’re really going to work with is the special effects. We’re using lots of effects, mostly pyro.”

“ _Sweet_ ,” Greg said.

“One thing I’d like to do,” Denise said, “is add a new song for the concert.”

“A new song, as in a _brand new_ song?” Chris asked.

Denise nodded. “We’ve already had one written.”

“By who?” Jesse asked.

“Max Martin,” Denise said.

“Wow,” Frankie said.

“It’s an amazing song,” Denise said. “It’s really energetic, really catchy. The dance that’s choreographed for it is one of the best I’ve ever seen.”

“Are we recording it first?” Matt asked.

“No,” Denise said. “We don’t have time. We’ll record after the tour’s over. You’re gonna be working really hard for the rest of this summer. Almost every spare moment we’re going to be working on that concert.”

“I’m ready for it,” Matt said.

“Yeah!” Chris said, laughing.

“Me, too,” Greg said.

“And me,” Frankie said.

“I’m up for it,” Jesse said, nodding.

Denise smiled. “This is it, guys,” she said. “Are you ready to be superstars?”

* * *

After a few more minutes of talking about the concert, all the guys were pumped. They headed to the signing, and they were all in a good mood. Even Jesse was happy and smiling, and he usually looked like he was in a bad mood at most signings.

Afterwards, Audrey was walking back to the limo next to Jesse. “You were in a good mood at that signing,” she said lightly. “The fans were really happy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jesse said. “I’m not usually in a good mood?”

Audrey stared at him. “No,” she said. “You usually look like you have a stick up your ass at signings.”

Jesse’s eyes widened. “I do not have a stick up my ass. Maybe I’m not always the friendliest person, but the fans should be happy enough just _seeing_ me.”

Audrey shook her head in disgust. “Even when I try to say something nice,” she said, shaking her head and walking ahead of him. “You always manage to turn it around.”

The concert was in twenty-nine days. It would be super-hectic until then, but the guys wanted to do it. They hoped that the concert would change everything for them. Little did they – especially Jesse – realize exactly how much he would change by then. 


	5. Chapter 5

**c h a p t e r f o u r**

**b i g d e a l**

The show the guys put on that night was one of the best of the tour. They were full of energy and excitement, all psyched for the show at the Garden. After the concert, the guys immediately called their parents. They had missed that day’s show – and the big announcement – because they had taken a flight to the next tour stop that morning. This was the first chance the guys had gotten to call their parents. They were all hanging out in one hotel room as they made the calls.

Frankie’s, Matt’s, Greg’s, and Chris’s phone calls were all basically the same. They all used speakerphone, wanting to hear each other’s parents’ reactions to the news. Their parents were overjoyed and congratulated the boys, and they were excited to find out the details of the concert.

Jesse’s, on the other hand, was a different story. Like the other guys, he put his parents on speakerphone.

“Hello?” Jesse’s mom answered the phone.

“Hey, Mom!” Jesse said when his mom picked up the phone.

“Oh, hey, Jes,” she said. “How was the show?”

“It was great. But something even more important than the show happened – big news, you won’t believe it,” he said excitedly.

“What is it?”

“We’re doing a concert at the _Garden_ on August 1,” Jesse stated proudly.

“That’s nice, honey. At the Garden? What Garden is that?”

“Madison Square Garden, Mom. What other Garden do you know of?”

“Really? Madison Square Garden? That’s fantastic!”

“Yeah, I know! Want to know the best part, though?”

“What?”

“It’s gonna be live on HBO! This is huge!”

“HBO? Wow! This is amazing! Congratulations, Jesse,” his mom said.

“Thanks.”

“What day is it again?” his mom asked.

“August 1.”

“August 1?” she said faintly. “Oh, no.”

“What?” Jesse asked tentatively.

“Um, well, if it’s on August 1… we can’t go.”

“But- what- why?” Jesse asked, his eyes widening.

“Leah’s summer theater is performing their play that day,” she said. “We’re going to that.”

“No way, Mom. No way.”

“We promised her, Jesse. We can’t just not go because of you.”

“But this is the hugest thing ever!” Jesse said. His face was turning red with anger. Everyone else began exchanging looks. Would he freak out because of this?

“Jesse, we have to go to this. You’re not the only child in this family. We have to support you, Timmy, and Leah, whether it’s a small theater production or a show at Madison Square Garden. We can’t just let your sister down.”

“I don’t care! This is huge! Who cares about Leah’s stupid show?”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“But mine’s more important!”

“I’m sorry, Jesse. But we can’t do this to Leah. You don’t need us there to perform, you’ll do great. Leah’s just starting, though. She needs as much support as she can get.”

“Forget it. I don’t want to hear it. You can tell Dad about the concert, I don’t care. I’m hanging up.” And he did.

Everyone looked at him tentatively. “What?” he snapped. “This is totally ridiculous. Totally. I can’t believe this.”

“Jes-” Frankie started, but Jesse interrupted him.

“Mine is so much more important than hers! Don’t they care about me?” Jesse shouted. He was completely enraged now. His face was all red, and he was storming around the room, pacing back and forth.

“Jesse, calm down,” Matt said. “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just one show. You can perform without them. You don’t need them there.”

Jesse looked at him. “Oh, that’s it, side with them! I’m always wrong, aren’t I? It’s always my fault!”

And with that, he stormed out of the room. They heard him open the door to his own room and slam it shut.

“He’s definitely wrong,” Audrey said, shaking her head.

“I know,” Chris said. “I really don’t know what his problem is. I can’t figure it out. He just seems to think that everyone’s world revolves around him, and that everything should go his way.”

“Someone has to do something,” Audrey said. “We can’t just let him act like this forever, and he can’t stop himself on his own. He needs help, or it’ll only get worse.”

“So what are we supposed to do?” Frankie said.

Audrey shook her head. “I don’t know. It seems like we’ve tried everything.”

* * *

The next day Jesse was in one of the worst moods they’d ever seen him in. He snapped at everyone who crossed his path and practically bit Audrey’s head off when she came to tell him it was time for sound check.

All through sound check, Denise was correcting every minor flaw in their dancing – not for the show that night, but for the Garden show.

During a two-minute water break, the guys started talking about the Garden show.

“My mom said when she told my sister about it she started squealing and said we were gonna be like *NSYNC,” Greg said, laughing.

“At least your family cares,” Jesse mumbled.

Everyone stopped laughing. “Jesse, your family cares,” Frankie said, rolling his eyes. “Don’t exaggerate. They just can’t make it. No big deal.”

“No big deal?” Jesse said. “No big deal? It is a big deal! My parents aren’t coming to the biggest show of my entire life! You would be mad, too!”

“But Jesse, it isn’t a big deal,” Matt reasoned. “One show. There will be others. It’s no big deal.”

Jesse’s face was turning red again. “So that’s it, huh? You really don’t think it’s a big deal?” He paused, looking around at them. “Fine! You think that’s no big deal, I’ll show you another ‘no big deal’! You can do the stupid Garden show without me!”

“What?” Chris said. “Jesse, you’re not making any sense.”

“My parents obviously don’t find this show a big deal, and you guys don’t seem to either,” Jesse said angrily. “So you can do the show without me! I’m not doing the Garden show! _How’s that for no big deal?_ ” he shouted, starting off the stage.

“No way,” Audrey said under her breath. “That’s it.” She had had enough. She strode across the stage, following Jesse, until she caught up to him. She grabbed his hand and turned him around to face her.

“You need to listen to what I have to say,” she said firmly.

Jesse shook his head. “Don’t even start! I don’t want to hear anything from you!”

“Well you know what?” Audrey said, “You’re going to listen!”

Jesse seemed a little taken aback, and he was quiet for a minute. Audrey saw this as an opportunity and began talking.

“I’m sick and tired of you acting like you’re the king of the whole world, acting like everything has to go your way! I’m sick of you always having to be right, always having to win, always having to get what you want! I’m sick of nothing being good enough for you and you being too good for everyone else! I’m sick of you, Jesse, and it’s _all ending right now_!”

“Shut u-“ Jesse started.

“No, you shut up! You’re gonna listen to me, Jesse, because you need to hear what I have to say. You have a problem, Jesse, do you realize that?” she started. “Every time something goes wrong, even slightly wrong, you freak. Do you know what kind of person you are? Do you like who you are? Do you realize how horrible you are?”

Audrey could actually see the hurt in Jesse’s eyes as she said this, and she knew it was harsh. But she had to say it, because Jesse needed to open his eyes.

Jesse swallowed. “I’m just fine the way I am.”

“But you’re not, Jesse. You’re not fine. If something happens even a little bit differently from the way you want it to, you have a temper tantrum. Yes, Jesse, a temper tantrum. You’re too immature.” She took a breath, then went on. “You need to accept the fact that there are other people in this world. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a little for other people so they can be happy. Is that so hard a concept? Is it so hard to understand that you are not the only person in this world?”

“I’m not that bad,” Jesse whispered.

“You are that bad. You _are_ ,” she said. “Open your eyes. Do you realize what you’re doing? You’re freaking out over bagels and chairs, you’re practically quitting Dream Street because of one show. Do you see what you’re doing? You’re hurting people. You’re hurting your family and your friends; everyone is so worried about you. You’re stressing us out. And you’re hurting the band! Dream Street is on the brink of superstardom, and you’re putting the band in jeopardy! These four guys – and you, Jesse, and you – have worked so hard to get this far, and you could throw it away because of your parents not being able to make it to _one show_.”

Audrey went on. “And, Jesse, you’re hurting yourself. When was the last time you were really happy? You have to learn how to accept things not always going your way. Because, in life, things don’t usually go your way, but you have to enjoy it anyway. You’re not allowing yourself to be happy, Jesse!”

“And, so, I guess what I’m getting at here – the point is – your problem. Your problem is – that you don’t know how to deal with your problems,” Audrey said. She paused for a second. When she first started talking, Jesse’s problem wasn’t clear to her. But as she talked, and as she said it out loud, she realized that what she’d said was true. His problem was that he didn’t know how to deal with his problems. “No matter how big or small, you don’t know how to deal with them. You don’t solve your problems; you just yell and scream to get them to go away. You need to learn how to calm down, how to solve your problems, or look at them in a different way, or sometimes, like the problem you have now with your family and the concert – you have to realize that they don’t matter that much in the end, so you should just – embrace the problem. Let it go. Don’t worry about it, because it’s not worth it. And that – that is exactly your problem.”

Finally, she was done. She suddenly became aware that the other four members of Dream Street, Denise, and many members of the crew were standing completely still, just watching them. And finally she looked at Jesse. She hadn’t looked at him since towards the beginning of her speech. She couldn’t say something that harsh to someone while looking them in the eye, no matter how true it was.

So as her eyes met with Jesse’s, she was afraid of what she would see. And what she saw did surprise her. In Jesse’s eyes was a mix of emotions, all jumbled together but all completely visible. There was fear, and embarrassment, and sadness, and something she’d never seen in Jesse. Something she’d never expected to see.

Audrey had seen the look in other places. Two basketball teams are in the finals of the NBA championship, the series tied. Both are psyched up for the final game, but one simply plays better than the other. During that final game, the one team’s lead stretches further and further. The players on the losing team know they are losing. In the back of their mind, they know they will lose the game. But still, they have some form of hope that maybe, somehow, a miracle will happen, and they will win like they have so many times before. But as the final seconds tick away, and the players resort to fouling the opposition in desperation, that final look appears on the players’ faces. That look of coming to terms with something that had been going on for a while that you just didn’t want to accept. You still held out hope that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t happening. But finally, you realize what you’ve really known all along. It was a look of humble, remorseful, final acceptance.

Audrey saw this in Jesse’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything. They just kept staring at each other, for a few minutes that felt like hours and seconds at the same time. But finally, he nodded. Slowly and slightly, he nodded his head.

“You’re right,” he said quietly. “You’re absolutely right.” He stopped and appeared to be thinking pensively. Finally, he licked his lips and began to speak, but hesitated. He started again, then stopped again. Finally he said what he’d been trying to say. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking down. But then he met Audrey’s eyes, and she smiled slightly.

“It’s okay,” she whispered.

“Friends?” he said, cautiously sticking out his hand for her to shake.

“Friends,” she said, nodding and shaking his hand.

They looked at each other for a moment longer, then turned around to look at everyone else. Jesse blushed when he realized that everyone else was watching.

“What do I do now?” he whispered.

“I think you have a bunch of people that you need to apologize to. And maybe you should start with your four best friends,” Audrey whispered gently, her gaze settling on the four other guys of Dream Street.

Jesse nodded and slowly walked over to them. “Guys?” he said. “Look. I’m – I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting. I’ve been a real jerk, and I shouldn’t have treated you guys like I have. It was also totally stupid of me to say I wasn’t going to do the Garden show. So, please – if you can – forgive me?”

The guys looked at each other, then at Jesse.

“Yeah, man,” Chris said, slapping hands with Jesse.

“It’s cool,” Matt added.

The other two guys agreed, and Jesse turned around to everyone else. “Denise – I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you. The whole ‘Gotta Get the Girl’ thing – forget it. Take it out. You’re totally right. And everyone on the crew – I’m sorry for treating you like dirt. I promise I won’t blow up at you for anything like spilling my coffee again,” he said sheepishly.

The crew all mumbled things along the lines of ‘It’s okay’ and ‘Don’t worry about it’, and Denise spoke up. “What do you say we finish this sound check?”

The five guys agreed and the crew got back to work. Audrey hopped off the stage and sat in one of the front row folding chairs next to Denise as the music started.

Audrey began thinking about what had just happened. She had totally humiliated Jesse, screaming at him in front of everyone. She had expected it to go in one ear and out the other. But he had surprised her yet again. He had admitted to his problem, and, even more surprising, apologized to everyone.

But would it last? Would Jesse live up to his promise of becoming a better person?

Audrey looked up onstage at Jesse. He was looking around him, a little self- consciously, a little unsure of himself. It seemed like his over-inflated ego had been popped like a balloon by a pin – a pin named Audrey. She had shaken him up, turned him upside down, and he had changed in the moment. But would it last?

Audrey had her doubts. But as she saw him dance and sing again, better than usual, and even accept criticism when Denise told him he was doing a part of the dance wrong, she began to think that maybe – just maybe – Jesse would really change. He couldn’t change in this one moment. It could take weeks, or months. But it seemed to be starting to happen, and that was the important thing. It was like a cloud covering up the sun; it was just starting to move away, and a few rays glimmered through. Maybe the cloud would move back and the sun would be covered again. But maybe, most likely, the cloud would keep moving, and more and more of the sun would peek through. And as Audrey sat back in her chair and relaxed, she realized something.

She couldn’t wait to see what the sun was like when the cloud was gone completely.


	6. Chapter 6

**c h a p t e r f i v e**

**n e w a n d o l d**

The show that night was somewhere in New England – no one was exactly sure where. At that point in the tour, when they were all settled into just going out every night and putting on a good show and having fun, it didn’t really matter where they were. They were pretty exhausted, and, anyway, they didn’t really care what city they were performing in. The only one that really mattered to them was the Garden show, which was slowly approaching.

That night after the show, they were all just sitting around in a hotel room, completely bored. There was nothing good on TV, nothing special to talk about, not even a cheesy game to play.

“Are we just going to sit around here all night?” Greg asked skeptically, looking around the room.

“There’s nothing to do,” Jesse said, shrugging. “Unless you have something in mind.” He had been more talkative since “The Change” earlier that day. Of course, no one mentioned that he was acting different. They didn’t want to jinx it.

“I’m hungry,” Audrey said abruptly, sitting up. “Let’s go eat.”

“Where?” Matt asked.

“I don’t know. Out. Let’s find a diner or something.”

“I’ll go,” Jesse said.

“Yeah, that could be fun,” Frankie agreed. They all decided to go and informed their parents. Greg’s mom and a bodyguard would go with them but planned to sit at a separate table. Greg’s mom went down to the lobby and asked someone where there was a good diner – a little outside whatever city they were in, so there would be no fans to run into - and they were soon on their way.

They took the tour bus and watched some MTV.

“I love that video,” Audrey said as a video ended, glancing out the window and wondering if they were almost there. And then – wait. No. This place looked really familiar. Too familiar. The buildings sped by – Winden’s Bakery, and Gene’s Barber Shop, and the Little Boutique. They were – there. She was back. She was really back. The surprise hit her like a ton of bricks, and she paled and her throat became dry.

How many days had she walked down these streets? How many days had she gone to that store, and sat on that bench, and thrown out her gum wrappers in that garbage can? She was – she was where she had never wanted to go back to again, the place that she had thought was so firmly a part of her past that she couldn’t even believe was existing in her present.

“No way,” Chris said. “The song sucks.” But she didn’t hear him.

Audrey stared out the window. Why hadn’t she realized it sooner? They had been in Concord all day, and she hadn’t even noticed. And now – of all the suburbs of Concord to go to, they had to go to this one. She was suddenly startled, realizing what diner they were going to. Realizing that place they would pass on her way there. And she didn’t want to look out the window anymore, but she had to. It was like driving by a car accident. You don’t want to look, because you aren’t going to like what you see, but you just have to.

“Hey, Audrey?” Matt said. “You have a really weird look on your face.” But she didn’t hear him.

Finally they reached a more residential section of town, and she knew exactly when they would get to the building. How could she forget? Three more blocks, and then – and then she saw it. With its perfectly preppy bricks, and the flawlessly manicured lawn, and that little gold sign on the corner of the building saying “Founded in 1849”. And as soon as it had come, it was gone.

A few blocks more and they reached the diner. “We’re here,” she said, standing up before the bus had even stopped.

“How do you know?” Greg said, confused.

“Did you used to live here or something?” Frankie said, tossing out a random guess.

“You could say that,” she said, her voice unnaturally high-pitched, cracking nervously.

She saw them give her weird looks but didn’t say anything, since they lasted shortly as the very hungry guys turned their minds to food. What she didn’t see, however, was Jesse’s look. It was more concerned than curious, and it lasted as they entered the diner.

Audrey closed her eyes and took in her breath sharply as they walked in. It still smelled the same, a little like coffee and a little like pancakes and a lot like Pauline’s strong perfume. She looked around quickly and saw none of _them_ in there – but she did see Pauline. After so much had changed in her life – it felt like a century – it felt funny to see Pauline there, wearing her same old perfume and her same old apron with her same old big blonde hair. But she couldn’t have expected everything to change when she left, could she? They walked past Pauline, and she pretended to scratch her head, shielding her face as they walked by her to a table in the back.

“What are you getting?” Jesse asked as they sat down.

“I’m not really hungry anymore,” Audrey said thickly, staring at her placemat. It was plain blue, with the diner’s name in the center. The same as the last time she had been here. “I think I just want water.”

“Are you okay?” Jesse said, looking in her eyes. It felt a little funny to her, Jesse being nice, not fighting with him every two seconds. Hopefully it was something she could get used to.

“I’m fine,” she said quickly. She didn’t want anyone to worry, because she didn’t want them to ask questions. “Um, they have really good cheeseburgers. Or if you just want dessert they make really good chocolate cake. Or you could get pancakes, if you like breakfast at 11:30 at night. They have the best pancakes in the world here.”

Jesse raised his eyebrows. “So you really did live here?” he asked. “I thought you were just kidding.”

“No, I did live here,” she said shortly.

“What can I getcha?” the waitress said with a heavy New York accent. Audrey tried not to look up, but she couldn’t help taking a glance. Yup, Pauline was still the same, with her bright pink lipstick and her gold “PAULINE” name tag.

The guys all ordered – Jesse took her advice and ordered pancakes – and then it came time for Audrey to order.

“Um, I’ll just have a glass of water,” she mumbled quickly.

“What?” Pauline asked. “Speak up, honey. And look up, too. Always look someone in the eye when you talk to them. It shows confidence, you know.” Pauline was babbling on in the way Pauline always babbled on.

Audrey looked up just a little, enough to make eye contact with Pauline briefly. “I’ll just have water,” she said, and dropped her eyes again. She thought it had been quick enough that Pauline wouldn’t recognize her, but she was wrong.

“Look who it is!” Pauline shrieked. “Audrey Harper! What a surprise!”

“Hey, Pauline,” Audrey said weakly.

“Oh, honey, it’s so good to see you! You look fantastic! I never thought I’d see you around here again! Wow! Oh, give me a hug! I don’t believe it! It’s been months since you’ve been in here!” Pauline gushed. She paused. “And did you say you wanted just water? There’s no way I’m giving you a glass of water. You’re gonna eat, and you’re gonna eat a lot, because you girls these days are nuts about looking like that Britney Spears. And let me tell you, honey, she’s not really all that good-looking. You Hoverton girls are much, much pre-”

“Pauline,” Audrey interrupted. “I hate to be rude, but my friends are hungry.”

Pauline looked at the guys for the first time. “Wow, honey, you sure know how to pick ‘em. All five of them? Don’t they get a little competitive? In my day, it was enough for a girl to have one boyfriend. But then again, these days there’s more of everything – the soda you get at the movies doesn’t even fit in the cup holders anymore!”

Audrey shook her head, laughing. “What is the world coming to? Soda that doesn’t fit in cup holders?” She paused. “Oh, and Pauline, these aren’t my boyfriends. They’re my _friends_. This is Greg, Frankie, Matt, Chris, and Jesse. Guys, this is Pauline.”

Pauline smiled broadly. “It’s so nice to meet you. Audrey was one of my favorite Hoverton girls, always coming in here-“

“Pauline,” Audrey said gently. “I think they want their food.” She didn’t want the guys to get too curious, to start asking questions. She didn’t want them to ask what a Hoverton girl was, because then she might have to explain.

Pauline laughed. “Of course, of course,” she said, and rushed off to the kitchen, leaving the scent of her perfume behind her. “And I’m bringing you a nice big stack of pancakes!” she shouted just before she walked into the kitchen.

“So you used to come here a lot?” Matt asked. “What happened? Did you move?”

“Yeah,” she said quickly.

They ate quickly – the boys always did, and Audrey ate to get out of there as fast as she could. Pauline came over and chatted whenever she could, which wasn’t often; the diner was pretty busy for 11:30 on a summer night. Audrey was a little thankful for that, as much as she loved Pauline. She didn’t want her to say anything about what had happened, about why she was even _with_ the guys, to the guys.

They paid the check and were on their way out the door when Audrey saw them. It was them, just the way they’d always been, except in the past she had usually been with them. But it was them all the same, and they were walking in and were certain to see her.

Audrey was last out of the restaurant, and they stopped suddenly when they saw her. They had been waiting patiently as the rest of Dream Street walked outside, smiling their pompous, fake friendly smiles. But they disappeared once they saw her, because she actually knew them.

“Well, look who it is,” Clark DeWitt said, raising his eyebrows.

“Audrey Harper?” Felicia Montgomery said. “What on earth are you doing here?”

“Just visiting,” Audrey said tightly. She wanted to walk away fast, but she couldn’t. She had to stay, had to talk to them. “It’s good to see you, Felicia. And you, Clark, and Beverly, and Lindon, and Madeline, and Scott.” She couldn’t help notice that Annabelle wasn’t there.

“It’s been so long,” Madeline said, falsely sweet, smiling contemptuously at Audrey. “So what have you been up to? Have any ridiculously loud public outbursts lately?”

Audrey smiled. “No,” she said. “I only needed one to get my point across.”

Just then she saw a figure, jogging to catch up with them. “Hey,” she said to Felicia and the rest of them, “sorry I’m late. My mom called, and-” She froze, seeing Audrey. She looked at her friends. They shrugged, and Scott looked at her.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” he said.

“I was in town,” she said. She still couldn’t believe that she was in town, herself.

“You don’t belong here anymore,” Lindon said.

She raised her eyebrows. “And who says you make the rules about who belongs and who doesn’t?”

“I’m gonna slap her right now,” Beverly said in her squeaky, high-pitched voice.

“Can you just go?” Annabelle said.

She sighed. “Look,” she said. “I will leave. But I want you guys to hear me out, okay?” They didn’t say anything, so she went on. “I know what I said was – harsh – but it was true. One of the strongest beliefs I have is in telling the truth, always, even if it hurts. And what I said was definitely how I felt, and I still feel that way. I don’t regret it, and I’m not going to take it back.”

“You didn’t need to do it publicly,” Felicia whined.

She closed her eyes. “I know it probably wasn’t the best thing to do,” she said. “But – I was just so, so mad. It was like the last straw. You know me, I have a bad temper.”

They were silent for a minute. “No,” Annabelle said. “We don’t know you. We thought we did. But you proved us wrong, I guess. I guess we never really knew you.”

She was about to protest, but she knew she shouldn’t. What they had was over. There could be nothing done to fix it, and nothing to change it. No matter how hard she tried, it could never be the same. And maybe, really, she didn’t want it to be the same. She wasn’t sad about not being friends with them anymore; she had believed in what she said, after all. But maybe it was sad that her friendships with them that had lasted so long and were so much fun had ended. But nothing could be done or changed, so she just had to let it go.

“I have to go,” she said quietly, glancing at the tour bus. The guys were hanging out of the door impatiently, waiting for her. “I just want you to know that I am sorry, not for what I did, but for how things ended. I just – I just hope you guys end up happy. Maybe I’ll see you around.” She smiled tightly, looking into each of their eyes. When she looked at Annabelle, she saw nothing but coldness staring back at her. She dropped her eyes.

She stepped toward the tour bus. “Goodbye,” she said. She was saying it for real this time, even though the whole ordeal had ended months ago. She hadn’t been able to say a proper goodbye then, so this time – this time she really needed to say it.

She walked away slowly, none of them saying anything in return. She wanted one of them to say something, anything, just to end it, but she didn’t think she’d get it.

Just before she reached the bus, she heard Annabelle’s voice. “Hey, Audrey?” Audrey stopped. “Good luck. I hope you’re happy, too. Goodbye.”

With that, she had closure. She climbed into the tour bus, glancing at the seven people retreating into the restaurant, and turned to the five boys with very confused looks on their faces.

“We heard the whole thing from here,” Frankie said. “What was that all about?”

She shook her head slightly. “Long story,” she said. They didn’t press her any further, and she greatly appreciated that. These boys were very special, not only as musicians, but also as people.

Audrey lay down on a couch for the ride home. She didn’t feel like looking out the window at her old life rushing away.

* * *

When they arrived back at the hotel, Audrey quickly went to her room, slipped into her pajamas, and crawled into bed. Although it was about 1:00 in the morning, she couldn’t sleep. She popped in a Disney movie – Sleeping Beauty – and snuggled under the covers.

About a quarter of the way into the movie, she heard a knock on her door. Peeking through the hole, she saw Jesse. She opened the door.

“What are you doing here?” she said.

“My room’s next door,” he explained. “I couldn’t sleep. I heard the TV on in here and I figured maybe I could hang out with you for a little while.”

“Sure,” she said, a little surprised. Jesse sprawled out on the other bed in the room, while Audrey climbed back into hers.

“What are we watching?” Jesse asked.

“Sleeping Beauty,” Audrey said.

“Why?”

“Because Disney movies are the best movies in the world,” she stated matter-of-factly. “And, plus, they help me relax when I’m stressed out or upset.”

Jesse was silent for about a half hour as they watched the movie, but finally he spoke. “I know you probably won’t want to talk about this,” he said suddenly. “But I figure since we’re friends now and everything, I should bring it up. Who were those people at the diner?”

Audrey bit her lip and glanced at Jesse. And maybe it was the look in his eyes, or maybe it was because it was almost 2:00 in the morning and people do crazy things around that time, or maybe it was just that she hadn’t talked to anyone about this in so long and she really needed to talk about it – but she decided to tell him.

“It’s a long story,” she said in a hushed voice. “And you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone, not even Greg and Frankie and Matt and Chris.”

“I promise,” he said.

She exhaled. “Well I guess it starts with my parents, and who they are. My dad is a politician, and my mom is a big-money lawyer. Basically, they’re very rich. We’re from New York, and my parents are friends with all the other rich people from the area – the huge business owners, the famous people’s children, you know. They have their own little group of only the most elite people in high-class society. It’s ridiculously shallow, and I was brought up in it. I never really liked it, though. I thought it was kind of pointless, all these shallow people and their money and fake smiles. Anyway, all my parents’ friends’ children were obviously around a lot of the time, since our parents were always together. We formed a little group of friends, and we had a lot of fun.

“We’ve been friends since we were little babies. It’s always been the eight of us, five girls and three guys. I never found them as shallow as their parents, and we were always, always close. I did have one _best_ friend out of them, though – Annabelle. We were inseparable. We went everywhere together. We could practically read each other’s minds, we knew each other so well.

“We all went to private elementary schools in New York City up until sixth grade. Once we got to sixth grade, our parents transferred us to Hoverton. Hoverton is a boarding school; it was that big brick building we passed on the way to the diner. It’s a really tough school, really expensive, and most of the people who go there get accepted by Ivy League schools for college. That’s why we all went there; if we don’t get into good colleges, it’ll be a disgrace to our families.

“That’s the most important thing to people like my parents – not being a disgrace. We aren’t allowed to do anything embarrassing, because the family image can’t be hurt. It’s so incredibly shallow. And I always thought that my friends felt the same way I did – that it was ridiculous and stupid. I didn’t want any part in it, and I didn’t think they did, either.

“But as we got older, and we went to Hoverton, my friends started to change. They talked about people – even each other, and me, too, I’m sure – behind their backs. They used people and acted fake, and I couldn’t stand it. Last year I was totally miserable. Even Annabelle, who I could trust more than anyone, was different. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore. Do you know how hard that is? Not being able to trust anyone?

“So, eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. One day we were in the middle of English class and one of my friends said something mean about this really shy, nice girl, and it was the last straw. I flipped. I yelled at them in front of the whole class – totally embarrassing them, told them they were fake and shallow and stuff. That was public. That got people talking. It embarrassed my family; they freaked when they found out I had yelled at their friends’ children. Their friends got mad at them, and they asked the school board to expel me. They’re very influential people, so the board expelled me right away – on grounds that I showed “pent-up emotions which could result in violence that would be a danger to the school”. Total BS.

“So I came home – it was right around spring break, so my parents had a couple weeks to find a new school for me – and they hated me. They told me I had to apologize to my ‘friends’ and their parents and the school and pray that they let me back in. I told them no way. I mean, Jesse, seriously. You know me, and I’m not gonna apologize for something I’m not sorry for. If I believe in something, I’m not going to go against it. So we got in a huge fight and I left and I stayed up all night in a diner, just thinking. Now, they freaked and thought I slept on the street or something.

“Now, Denise is one of my parents only friends that isn’t in that little circle. She was my mom’s college roommate, and they call each other about once a week to keep in touch. My mom told her the whole story, and Denise, being the smart person that she is, told her that maybe I needed to get away. You know, get away from my ex-friends, and all the other people in my parents’ little circle, and even my parents. She understood what my parents didn’t – that I’m not like all those people. So my parents asked her where they should send me. I couldn’t get into another boarding school; none of those prestigious boarding schools wants someone who’s been expelled from another school. They even suggested one of those crazy boot camp places for juvenile delinquents. Denise had a better idea, thank goodness. She mentioned this tour. She said I could come with her, and we wouldn’t have to tell anyone why I was there, and I could get tutored, too, to finish up the rest of the year that I would miss.

“So that’s how I got here. I’m not really here to introduce you guys; that was just something Denise made up for me to be here. And those people that we saw at the diner were my ex-friends, who still hate my guts. It’s sad, really. My parents don’t even understand me; I’m completely different from them. I can’t trust them. I lost my trust for my friends because they _changed_ all of a sudden. So now I think it’s safest not to really trust anyone but myself.”

Jesse had been listening, absorbed in her story, the whole time. When she was finished he sat there, thinking for a few minutes. Finally he spoke.

“You know,” he said softly, “as much as we fight – _fought_ – I think we’re really similar.”

“What do you mean?” Audrey asked.

“Well,” he started. “It’s obvious that we’re both really headstrong. We say what we think, even though it doesn’t always work out too well, as you can see by my… tantrums… and by your yelling at your friends. And… after that story… I realized we’re even more similar.”

“How?” Audrey asked.

“I don’t trust people either,” Jesse said. “You have reasons not to. I understand why you don’t. I really don’t have reasons, though. It’s just the way I am. Like with my temper? I get mad at people so easily. I think, because of that – because I thought no one could ever do anything right – I just stopped trusting people. And it’s sad, really, because I should trust them.”

“Just give it time,” Audrey said gently. “I know this is going to be hard for you. You’re gonna have to think a lot before you speak, and listen to other people more – which you just did, by listening to me, so that’s a good start – but I think you can do it. I really do.”

“Thanks,” Jesse said, after a pause. “And I’m really gonna try. I had fun at the diner tonight. I think it’ll be better this way.”

The two sat there, talking, until almost 3:30. Jesse left only when Audrey started nodding off, her eyes slowly closing.

Jesse turned off the TV and walked over next to Audrey’s bed. “I won’t tell anyone why you’re here,” he whispered to her. She mumbled something incoherently in her sleep. Jesse bit his lip and awkwardly put the blanket over her, taking one more glance as he walked out of the room and turned off the light.

He smiled as he walked back to his room. Everything he had talked about with her – she really understood him. He actually liked talking to her, peacefully, better than fighting with her.

And he couldn’t help notice how sweet her smile looked when he left the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**c h a p t e r s i x**

**u n d e r s t a n d i n g**

The next day the guys were going to rehearse their new song for the first time; they were just beginning to learn it, and as they sat around a table Denise passed out the lyrics and music to the song.

“I told you who has the solos, right?” Denise said as she handed the last one to Audrey, who immediately began poring over the words to see if the song would earn her approval.

“Yeah,” Jesse said, looking up at Denise. “Greg has the first one and I have the second one. Right?”

Denise froze and then bit her lip hesitantly. “No,” she said slowly. “Actually. I think… I think we changed it after we told you guys.”

“Oh,” Greg said, surprised. “So who has the solos?”

“Greg, you still have the first one,” Denise said. She crossed her fingers, hoping Jesse wouldn’t overreact. “But… they changed the second verse. They made it a little higher. So… they decided to give Matt the second solo.”

No one said anything. They all just looked at Jesse, who was staring at Denise. His face was turning red, and he was clenching the arms of his chair. He closed his eyes. “You didn’t think I could handle it?” he said evenly.

“No, that’s not it,” Denise said quickly. “It’s just… it was better suited for Matt’s voice. That’s all.”

Before he could stop himself, Jesse had slammed his fist on the table. “Of course! Of course it’s _my_ verse that gets changed. Not Greg’s verse. It’s mine, so I don’t get the solo that I _deserve_! Why does this always happen to me?” he said angrily. He stopped and winced, burying his face in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I- I really tried that time, not to get mad. It’s just – hard. To control it sometimes.”

He was still breathing heavily, and he still seemed a little angry. He thought for a minute, trying to calm down. “But why-“ he began again, then took a deep breath.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Audrey said abruptly, standing up and grabbing Jesse by the arm. “We’ll be back in, like, twenty minutes,” she told Denise as she dragged Jesse out the door.

Audrey didn’t talk to Jesse as she walked down the hallway, him following a step or two behind. She was thinking. He had another little outburst because he didn’t get his way. But it was an improvement, really. They couldn’t expect him to be normal in one day, could they? It wasn’t nearly as bad as his past tantrums. And he had caught himself, and tried to control his anger. It was a big step.

“I’m proud of you,” she said, thinking aloud. She startled herself. She hadn’t meant to tell him that.

She began to think that maybe he didn’t hear her, or something, because he didn’t say anything, but finally he spoke. “Thanks,” he said quietly. He hesitated. “I really tried, you know. It’s not easy.”

“I know,” she said. “But you controlled yourself. It was good.”

“The thing is,” he began. “I really didn’t control myself. I mean, once she said that they switched the solo, I was like, ‘ _Okay, no big deal_ ’ to myself. But then the words just popped out. And – it’s scary. I can’t even control myself. It’s ridiculous! What happened to me?” he asked. He shook his head and then went on. “I’m starting to think that maybe… maybe I’m just like that. Maybe I’ll always be selfish and have a bad temper and just be generally an… unpleasant person. Maybe that’s the way I am. Maybe I can’t get better.”

Audrey shook her head. “No. No, you’re wrong. You can get better, and you _are_ a good person. I know we weren’t exactly on good terms for awhile there, but in between our fights and stuff, I saw your real personality, and I know it’s in there somewhere. You’re a _sweet guy_ , Jesse. You’re fun and funny and smart and sweet.”

Jesse scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“No, really. You want proof? Okay, let’s see. When we were playing video games that one time you were fun, joking around with the cheating and stuff. And when you’re in a good mood and you crack a joke, it’s a really funny joke. You have a good sense of humor. And I know you’re sweet, because… remember that first day we were getting tutored? You wanted to know why I didn’t finish my freshman year, and, I mean, well, you know _now_. And you understand why I didn’t want to tell anyone, but you _didn’t_ know then. And when you asked me… you realized I didn’t want to talk about it… and you backed off. If you were a jerk you would have kept bugging me.”

They reached a door leading outside, and Audrey opened it. Jesse followed, and they began walking down a long path that lead to the parking lot.

“You’re not a jerk,” she said, laughing. “You have your moments. But sometimes you’re not a jerk. And, also, you don’t want to _be_ a jerk. So you can’t say that you’re a bad person. Just… give it time. I have faith in you, trust me.”

She didn’t realize what she’d said until after it came out. She’d said ‘ _Trust me_ ’. She’d actually told Jesse to trust her, when trust was something she believed in less than anything else. Where had that come from? She shook her head, thinking that it had just slipped out by accident. But as she thought about it, she realized she did want Jesse to trust her. She was confused; she didn’t know why. She just let it go, staring at a little patch of flowers under a tree as they walked.

A few minutes went by, and then Jesse started talking. “That day we first got tutored,” he started, “and Caroline asked us what love is and we got in a fight about it. Did you really mean… everything you said about it?”

She glanced at him curiously. “Yeah. Of course,” she said. She waited for him to say something, but he didn’t, so she went on. “I mean… love… well, I believe in love like I believe in trust. I’ve never even seen it before, let alone experienced it. So I think… if it really does exist… it takes time. You have to grow together with that person, and trust them, and be trusted, because otherwise… what is love, then? I really don’t think it’s a spark or connection or whatever. I think it’s deeper than that.”

Jesse thought about what she said. “You really… you’ve really never seen love before?” he said softly.

“No,” she said. “My parents? Their marriage is a joke. They married because it would make their families look good. They don’t love each other. They fight all the time. But they would never get a divorce, because the family would look bad. They don’t trust each other, either. Not one bit. I don’t want to end up like them. No way.”

“So you don’t… you don’t want to fall in love?” he questioned.

She shook her head. “God, even if you just listen to it. ‘ _Fall_ in love’? How can falling be good at all? Why would someone want to fall?” She stopped and looked at him. “Why did you want to know all this stuff? About how I feel?”

Jesse shrugged. “I don’t know. That day that you said all that stuff, during tutoring… I just started thinking that maybe… you were right. Maybe it’s deeper than I thought, more meaningful than just a connection. I guess I just… I don’t know.”

“So how about you?” Audrey said, half-smiling. “Do you want to fall in love?”

“Wanting to fall in love isn’t the question,” Jesse said after a few seconds. “It’s more like… letting myself.”

“How so?” Audrey asked. She was enjoying this conversation. Jesse was surprisingly easy to talk to.

“I know this sounds really stupid, and kind of arrogant,” he said, “but I’m afraid of falling in love because I’m famous. I think it’s really hard for me. I don’t want to give my heart to someone who only wants me because I’m famous or rich or ridiculously _hot_ or something, you know?” He grinned.

Audrey shook her head, laughing and bumped him with her shoulder so he stumbled. “I don’t think you have to worry about girls liking you because you’re hot,” she said.

Jesse raised his eyebrows. “Oh yeah? You mean you don’t find me amazingly good-looking?”

Audrey’s smile faded and she bit her lip. She looked him up and down slowly, and batted her eyelashes shyly. “Actually,” she said softly. She moved in closer to him. “No,” she said in her normal voice, erupting into peals of laughter again as Jesse lightly punched her in the arm.

“I so had you there!” she exclaimed. She looked at him and he was laughing, too, shaking his head. Suddenly she realized what they were doing and grew quiet. They were _flirting_. She and _Jesse_ were flirting. With each _other_.

“Are you all calmed down now?” she asked him seriously, a solemn expression on her face.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. He wasn’t smiling anymore, either. “You want to go back?”

“Yeah,” she said. They turned around and headed back to the arena.

* * *

The days and rehearsals and concerts flew by. Everyone loved the new song, even Jesse. Everyone was anxiously awaiting the Garden concert, and eventually the time came. It was the night before the show – there was no show that night, so the guys could rest up – and they were all staying in a hotel in Manhattan.

Everyone was nervous about the concert. They were glad that it was almost time, because they were so excited for it, but at the same time, they wanted it to be later. They had learned the new song and some new choreography so quickly that they weren’t sure if they were ready.

Jesse was especially nervous. He hadn’t been able to sleep for about a week, and every night, he went to Audrey’s room, where they watched a Disney movie and talked until she fell asleep and he felt comfortable enough to go back to his room.

That night was no different. At about one in the morning, Jesse climbed out of bed and turned on the light. He threw on a sweatshirt over his tank top, and put a pair of sweatpants on over his boxers. He found himself checking his hair in the mirror and shook his head.

“What am I doing?” he mumbled. “Who cares how my hair looks?” He was only going to Audrey’s room to watch a movie. It wasn’t like he had to look good… but still. He had a funny feeling in his stomach. A nervous feeling, almost. He chalked it up to nerves about the show the next night and stepped out of his room, walking down the hall to Audrey’s.

He knocked on the door, and it opened almost immediately.

“Hey, Jes,” Audrey said casually, walking back into her room. “What’s it gonna be tonight?”

“How about Cinderella?” Jesse asked.

Audrey looked at him sadly and shook her head. “The only Disney movie I don’t have. I had a copy, but my VCR ate it a couple months ago. It was my favorite.”

Jesse smiled slightly. “How sad,” he said. “Okay, what do you want to watch?”

“Snow White?” she suggested.

“Sure,” he agreed. Audrey popped in the tape and plopped down on a bed, and Jesse stretched himself out on the other one.

“How do you feel about the show?” Audrey asked a few minutes into the movie.

Jesse bit his lip. “Um… you know. Nervous. Excited. This is an important show, so we have to do well-”

“No,” Audrey said, shaking her head. “I know you’re nervous and excited about the show itself. But… what about your parents not coming?”

Jesse swallowed. He didn’t want to tell Audrey about this. He hadn’t had any outbursts or anything since the one about the solos, and he didn’t want her to be disappointed. “I’m okay with it,” he said. “Perfectly okay.”

Audrey took her eyes off of the TV and looked at Jesse skeptically, raising her eyebrows. “Oh, no you don’t,” she said. “Don’t even try to lie to me. You may think I’ll fall for it, but I know you. You’re lying through your teeth. Tell me the truth.”

Jesse wasn’t surprised that she had caught him. With all their late night conversations, they had really become close. They knew each other very well, and she seemed to understand him. “Okay. I’m still mad. I don’t know if I can do the show without them. They’ve been at every show I’ve ever done – well, almost every show, at least, and all the important ones. I understand why they can’t come. But I almost feel like I need them there, or I can’t do it. And I’m so tempted to complain that it’s not fair.” He paused. “I didn’t want to tell you about it. I don’t want you to be disappointed that I still get mad about that stuff.”

Audrey sighed. “Jesse, I’m not disappointed. I’m happy. You’re doing so well with this. Do you realize how different you are from only a few weeks ago? It’s awesome, really. I’m proud, not disappointed. And… I understand why you’re upset. But don’t forget, I’ll be at the concert. Instead of looking for your parents, look for me.” She smiled. “Don’t be afraid to tell me stuff, Jesse. We’re friends. You trust me, right?”

The question hung in the air as both realized what she had asked.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have – I don’t know why I –”

“No, it’s okay.” Jesse said slowly.

“Let’s not talk about that anymore,” Audrey said quickly. “So Greg’s girlfriend is coming to the show, huh? I want to meet her.”

As Jesse talked about Greg’s girlfriend and everyone else who was coming to the show – some of the guy’s friends, some famous people – Audrey’s mind wandered.

Why had she said that to Jesse? Neither of them really trusted anyone. It was one of the things they discussed all the time. Why would she ask him a stupid question like that? She had been saying some pretty stupid things to him lately. She had to remember to think before she spoke.

“Earth to Audrey,’ Jesse said.

Audrey shook her head. “Sorry. I was zoning out. Just tired, I guess.”

A worried expression came over Jesse’s face. “Do you want me to go back to my room? I’ll let you sleep,” he said softly.

Audrey shook her head, smiling slightly at how considerate he was being. “No, it’s okay. I’m fine. Keep talking.”

“Okay,” Jesse said. He went on, his green eyes sparkling as he talked about how, at the last concert Matt’s friends came to, they sat up near the front and threw stuff at him the whole time, yelling and making fun of him. They were then attacked by an angry group of Matt fans who were sitting nearby and felt they had to protect their favorite guy.

He had gorgeous eyes, she noticed. You could practically read everything he was feeling just by looking at his eyes. And they were the greatest color, too; she’d never seen anyone with eyes that color before. Wait. Why was she thinking about Jesse’s eyes? _‘I must be really tired or something,’_ she thought. She concentrated on what he was saying until the movie was over. By then she was wiped out.

“See you in the morning,” she said as he stood up.

“G’night,” he whispered. He had the strange desire to give her a hug, but he headed for the door instead. “Sweet dreams.”

Audrey watched him smile at her and shut the door. The way he had whispered ‘Sweet dreams’, for some reason, it sent a chill up her spine. She sighed, shook her head, and turned off the light. She shut her eyes, but kept thinking about Jesse.

Jesse wanted his parents to come to the show tomorrow. Jesse also had a hard time expressing his feelings. Maybe, just maybe, his parents didn’t know how much it meant to him to have them at the concert. Maybe he needed someone else to tell them.

Audrey formed a plan, and with the look on Jesse’s face when he saw the results clearly in her mind, she drifted off to sleep.

In Jesse’s room, he lay awake, thinking about Audrey. She had asked him if he trusted her. She hadn’t meant to, he knew. They both knew how serious that word was to both of him. And as Jesse thought about his answer to the question, he realized that maybe their friendship was more serious than either of them thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**c h a p t e r s e v e n**

**f o r e a c h o t h e r**

Audrey woke up well-rested the next morning and glanced at the clock next to her bed. It was ten o’clock; everyone had been allowed to sleep late that day so they were ready for the show. She stretched and climbed out of bed. Looking out the window and seeing that it was a sunny day, she smiled as she headed into the bathroom to take a shower.

Fifteen minutes later, she stepped out of the shower and got dressed and ready for the day. She went over her plan in her mind and decided to put it into action right away. She stepped into the hall and walked to Matt’s room. She found him and Frankie playing video games.

“Do you know where Jesse is?” she asked.

Matt looked up briefly and glanced at her. “I think he’s in his room,” he said, “he only woke up like ten minutes ago.”

“Okay,” Audrey said. “Can you guys do me a big favor?”

“Maybe,” Matt said, grinning. “What is it?”

“I need to get something from his room without him knowing,” she explained. She saw their confused, hesitant looks and decided to tell them what she planned on doing.

After she explained herself, Matt nodded. “Gotcha. So you’re gonna send him in here for a couple minutes so you can get it?”

“Yeah,” Audrey said. “Just don’t let him get suspicious.”

“No prob,” Matt said. “We got it covered.”

“Thanks, guys,” Audrey said. She smiled and left the room, heading down the hall to Jesse’s.

Back in Matt’s room, he and Frankie began talking about what had just happened. “Dude, I can’t believe she’s doing that for him,” Matt said. “He treated her so bad before.”

“Yeah, but haven’t you noticed them lately? They’re like best friends,” Frankie said. “They talk all the time. And, I don’t know about you, but… I’m sensing some more-than-friendly feelings on both sides.”

“Little Jesse’s got a crush!” Matt said, laughing. “Yeah, there’s some definite sexual tension there.”

Meanwhile, Audrey reached Jesse’s room. She knocked on the door and he opened it a minute later.

“Hey,” he said. He had obviously just gotten out of the shower; he was standing there with khakis and no shirt on.

Audrey had to pull her eyes away from his arms and chest. “Um,” she said, shaking her head slightly. “Matt wants to talk to you. He’s in his room.”

“Oh,” Jesse said, running a hand through his soaking wet hair. He couldn’t help notice that Audrey looked really cute in her blue tank top. “Uh, what does he want?”

Audrey shrugged. “I don’t know. Go see,” she said.

“Okay,” Jesse said. “Just let me put on a shirt.” He grabbed a t-shirt from off his bed and pulled it over his head. “You coming?” he said as he walked out of his room, Audrey standing in the doorway.

“Um, can I use your bathroom really fast?” Audrey said, thinking quickly.

“Yeah, I guess,” Jesse said, shooting her a strange glance. “Don’t lock the door on the way out, though. I’m not bringing my key.

“’Kay,” Audrey said, walking into Jesse’s bathroom.

When she was sure he was gone, she went quietly back into his room. She looked around for the object she wanted before finding it on the table next to his bed.

She grabbed it and looked through it, and then wrote something down on her hand. She carefully put the object back where she had found it and left his room, going back to Matt’s room to find Matt, Frankie, and Jesse all playing video games.

“What are you playing?” Audrey asked casually.

Matt looked up and winked at her before responding. “MotoGP.”

“Cool,” she said. She glanced down at her hand. “I’m gonna go watch TV in my room. I’ll see you guys before sound check at three, okay?”

“See ya,” Jesse said, tearing his eyes away from the screen to give her a small smile.

“Later,” Matt said.

“Have fun,” Frankie added.

Audrey went back to her room and picked up the phone. She glanced at the number written on her hand and dialed it, pausing before pushing the last number. She pushed it, and the phone started to ring.

“Hello?” a woman answered.

“Hi,” Audrey said, biting her lip. “Mrs. McCartney? This is Audrey Harper from the Dream Street tour. I have something important to talk to you about.”

* * *

The day flew by and soon it was time for sound check. Audrey quickly went through her part and sat backstage, talking to Greg’s sisters for awhile. She went back to watch the guys run through the new song.

The new performance really was awesome; it was a great song, and the guys’ dancing was perfect. Jesse even had a small solo near the end of the song. It had all come together. Almost.

“Jesse!” Denise said sharply as the guys danced through the last chorus. “How many times do I have to tell you that it’s a turn to the left, not the right, there?”

“It’s a right turn,” Jesse said. “I distinctly remember you saying right. Isn’t it right, guys?”

“Um,” Chris said. “Actually it’s a left turn.”

Jesse bit his lip. “But- it’s not – why –” He stopped and nodded. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right.”

“Let’s try that part again,” Denise said. “Just to make sure you’ve got it.”

They ran through that part of the song, and Jesse began turning to the right, but quickly corrected himself.

“Good, Jesse,” Denise said. “Just make sure you remember that tonight, okay?”

They stopped for a break and Audrey hopped onstage and pulled Jesse off to the side. “That was awesome,” she said. “That’s exactly what you have to do.”

Jesse laughed and nodded. “I didn’t even get mad, really. I mean, I did, a little bit. But then I looked at you and I calmed down and I knew what to say.” He looked away after realizing how that sounded, but neither of them said anything about it.

“Well, it was great,” Audrey said. “I just wanted to tell you that.” She squeezed his hand gently and went back to where she had been sitting to watch the rest of sound check.

While Jesse and Audrey had been talking, the other four guys were watching them.

“Me and Frankie were talking before, and we decided that Jesse has it so bad for Audrey,” Matt said to the other guys.

“She likes him, too,” Greg said. “It’s easy to see.”

“Man, look at the way they’re looking at each other. It’s totally obvious,” Chris chimed in.

They watched Audrey squeeze Jesse’s hand and walk away, Jesse staring after her for a minute.

“Did you see that?” Matt said. “Why don’t they just write ‘I LOVE YOU’ across their foreheads?”

“But, dude, seriously, they should go out or something. She’s, like, the only one who can calm him down when he gets all weird,” Greg said.

“And she pays so much attention to him. She talks to him, like, 24/7,” Chris said.

“Guys, shut up,” Frankie said quickly as Jesse walked over to them.

“Let’s go through that one just one more time, and then we’ll be finished,” Denise said. “Get in your spots.”

Jesse was completely oblivious to the other guys’ knowing smirks as they stood in their places and began the song.

* * *

It was finally time for the concert that everyone had been waiting all summer for. The opening acts were going on in a few minutes, the Garden was packed with fans, and the cameras were ready to go live on HBO.

Audrey came out of hair and makeup (covered in sparkles) and ran down the hall to the guys’ dressing room.

“I just want to say good luck,” she said, peeking her head in the room.

“Thanks,” the guys responded.

“And, Jesse, can you come here a minute? I want to talk to you,” she said.

Jesse stood up and followed her out of the room as the other guys raised their eyebrows behind his back.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Jesse said as they stepped into the hallway. “I am so ridiculously nervous.”

Audrey laughed. “Did you see the cameras?”

“No,” Jesse said. “Are there a lot?”

“Like twenty,” Audrey said. “But you probably didn’t want to know that.”

“No, not really. But, seriously, I’m so nervous. I’m shaking. I never get this nervous.”

“It’s just because this is an important show. You’re gonna do fine, though. Relax,” Audrey said.

“Thanks,” Jesse said. He paused. “I’m excited, too, though. I mean… this show is so big. We’ve really made it, right?”

“You guys really made it,” Audrey said, grinning. “You’re the best.”

“I just… I wish my parents could be here,” Jesse said, swallowing. “I know we’ve talked about this a million times and I understand it and everything but… I still want them to be here.”

“Of course you do. Who could blame you?” Audrey said. “Have they even heard your new song yet?”

“Nope,” he said. “I wanted to see the looks on their faces when they saw us perform it for the first time.”

“Well, don’t worry,” Audrey said. “You know where I’ll be in the audience, right? In the corner by the stairs? Just… look at _me_ during the song. You can see my reaction,” she said half-jokingly. Little did Jesse know what he would really see.

“Okay,” he promised. “I will.”

She smiled at him, and he couldn’t help thinking that she looked magical. Or maybe it was just the glittery makeup.

“Well I gotta go,” Audrey said. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” Jesse said, walking back toward the dressing room. “You too.”

* * *

The show was the best the guys had ever done. They were psyched, and their energy pumped up the audience. The dancing was great, the singing was awesome, and the special effects added a sense of magic.

Jesse almost forgot about his parents not being there, but the thought was still in the back of his mind as the show went on. Finally, it was time for the last song – the big new single.

“This is our new song,” Chris said as they stood on their spots, preparing for the song. “The single comes out September 15!”

The music started, and the guys performed with all their hearts. As it came time for Jesse’s small solo near the end, he remembered his promise to Audrey and looked over to the side where she was standing.

Next to his family.

He was so shocked he almost stopped singing, but he kept going, still sneaking glances at the side of the stage. Next to Audrey, who was laughing at his shocked expression, was his whole family – his parents, Leah, and Timmy.

A huge grin spread across Jesse’s face as they finished the song and the show. When the last fireworks shot into the air and the fans erupted into cheers, Jesse looked at Audrey, frozen into his final pose. “What is this?” he mouthed to Audrey.

“Later,” she mouthed back.

* * *

After they got backstage, Jesse was immediately enveloped into a hug by his brother and sister.

“That song is amazing,” his mom said, smiling.

“You guys did great,” his dad congratulated him.

“What are you guys doing here?” Jesse asked in awe. “I thought you weren’t coming!”

“We weren’t until this morning,” Mrs. McCartney said. “Then I got a call from your friend. She told me how much it meant to you that we were here. We had no idea you wanted us to come that much!”

“Audrey,” Jesse breathed.

Mrs. McCartney leaned in and whispered, “She’s really special, that Audrey. You should hold onto her.”

After talking to his family for a few minutes and saying goodbye (Timmy was cranky and tired and they had to go home), Jesse set off to find Audrey. He found her near a buffet table, munching on some crackers and talking to Frankie’s grandma.

Jesse laughed at the sight of Audrey making friends with Frankie’s grandma; that girl really was one-of-a-kind.

“Hey, Grandma Galasso,” Jesse said, approaching the two. “Mind if I steal Audrey from you?”

“Go right ahead,” she said, winking at him. “I better go find Frankie.”

Audrey followed Jesse down the hall into the dressing room, where it was quiet. “She’s really a cool person,” Audrey said. “Have you ever met her?”

“Audrey,” Jesse said, his eyes sparkling, “I don’t want to talk about Frankie’s grandma.”

“Oh,” Audrey said, a puzzled expression forming on her face. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I want to talk about what you did for me,” Jesse said. “You got my family to come to the show!”

“Oh, yeah, I did,” Audrey said, bursting into laughter.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Jesse said. “How did you do it?”

“I snuck into your room and got their number from your cell phone. Then I called and just told your mom how important it was for them to be there, and she said she’d had no idea. We planned everything; they were going to get here as fast as they could after Leah’s show ended. They got here just in time to see the last song,” Audrey explained.

“You did that for me,” Jesse said dubiously.

Audrey shrugged. “I knew how important it was to you for them to be here.”

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

Audrey gave Jesse a small smile. “I try,” she said lightly.

Jesse looked directly into her eyes, and for one crazy moment Audrey thought he was going to kiss her. She glanced away, but he was just giving her a hug, anyway.

Audrey closed her eyes and inhaled Jesse’s scent. He was a little sweaty, but he still had a clean, soapy smell. She couldn’t help but think that it felt really good to be in Jesse’s arms; she felt warm and even safe.

Jesse was feeling similar emotions. Her shampoo smelled so good – sweet and spicy, kind of like Audrey herself – and he was amazed at how tiny she felt in his arms. It was like she fit perfectly in them.

Suddenly they both realized that they’d been hugging for a long time, and they pulled apart awkwardly. “Well… we better find everyone else,” Jesse said, his face flushing.

“Yeah, I’m pretty tired,” Audrey said, biting her lip. “We have to get back to the hotel.”

They both left the room and went back to everyone else; everyone was just about to head back to the bus.

“Where were you two?” Chris said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Shut up, you pervert,” Audrey said, smacking him lightly on the head.

“Ow,” Chris said, “watch the hair, girl!”

Audrey laughed and shook her head as she followed everyone else out the door to the bus.

* * *

When they got back to the hotel and everyone took showers, they were all still kind of hyper. They hung out in Jesse’s room for about an hour, until Matt fell asleep on the floor.

“Let’s just leave him,” Greg said, accidentally-on-purpose kicking Matt as he stepped over him. “I don’t feel like carrying him and he’s not waking up.”

All the guys left except Jesse (since it was his room).

“Don’t just leave him on the floor,” Audrey said, kneeling down next to Matt. “At least let him sleep in your extra bed.”

Jesse glanced at Matt. “I guess it would be mean to just leave him,” he agreed, lifting Matt off the floor and tossing the little guy on the bed. “Bet he doesn’t weigh more than a hundred pounds,” Jesse said, flexing his muscles.

“Oh yeah, Mr. Tough Stuff, since you’re so ripped,” Audrey joked. She put a pillow under Matt’s head and pulled the blanket over him. “Let him be comfortable, at least.”

“What time is it?” Jesse asked.

“One o’clock,” Audrey said, glancing at her watch. “Are you coming in my room?”

“Yeah,” Jesse said. “You go ahead. I just have to get something,” he added mysteriously.

Audrey gave him a curious glance but obliged. A few minutes later, Jesse opened the door to her room.

“Hey,” he said. He was holding his hands behind his back. “I got you something.”

“What?” Audrey asked. “Wait, is this because I got your parents to come? Because if it is, then seriously don’t worry-”

“No, no, I got it before that,” Jesse said, shaking his head.

Audrey looked at him. “Well… what is it, then?”

Jesse brought his arms from behind his back and handed Audrey a rectangular object in blue wrapping paper. Audrey took it and opened it. Slowly, a smile spread across her face and she began to laugh.

“Thanks, Jesse,” she said. She stopped laughing and looked into his eyes. “No, but seriously, this means a lot to me. This was so sweet of you.”

“It was the only one you didn’t have,” he said. “I had to get it for you.”

“Well, thank you very much,” she said. She smiled again. “Let’s watch it.”

Audrey walked over to the VCR and popped in Jesse’s present – a brand-new copy of _Cinderella_.


	9. Chapter 9

**c h a p t e r e i g h t**

**s u d d e n l y**

The next day Audrey woke up with a peaceful smile on her face. As she sat up and stretched, rubbing her eyes, she thought about what was going on that day – the guys would be spending it with their families before everyone headed out for the rest of the tour.

Suddenly Audrey heard a loud snore and jumped about a mile into the air; the snore was coming from the other bed in the room. She looked over quickly, and a slow smile spread across her face.

Jesse lay on top of the bed on his stomach, all four limbs spread out, drooling on the blanket.

Audrey shook her head, stifling laughter, and grabbed her camera. She snapped a quick picture of Jesse, who began stirring as soon as the flash went off.

Audrey watched in amusement as Jesse groaned, opened one eye, closed it, and sat up. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, mumbling something Audrey couldn’t understand, when all of the sudden he froze. “Wait a minute,” he said groggily, his eyes popping open and focusing on Audrey. “What the-”

Audrey started laughing. “I woke up and you were in the room.”

Jesse cracked a smile. “I guess we both fell asleep when we were watching the movie last night,” he said, standing up. “I’m going to my room,” he said. “I need to brush my teeth.”

He opened the door and walked out. A few seconds later, Audrey heard raised voices coming from the hallway and peeked out there to see what was going on.

“I swear I just fell asleep in there!” Jesse was saying.

Matt stood across from him, arms crossed, a skeptical look on his face. He glanced toward Audrey’s room and saw her in the doorway. “There she is now. And we all thought she was a good girl,” Matt said, shaking his head, pretending to be serious. “Jesse here is trying to tell me that he just _slept_ in your room last night. Now why don’t I believe him? Why do I think… something else went on?”

“Shut up, you pervert,” Audrey said, laughing, smacking Matt in the arm.

“That hurt,” Matt yelped, taking off down the hall, singing, “Jesse got lucky! Jesse got lucky!”

“That kid is nuts,” Audrey said, shaking her head.

Jesse had a small smile on his face. “You know we’re gonna get grief from all the guys about this.”

“I know,” Audrey said, laughing.

And, of course, they did. Matt told the other three guys within a matter of minutes, and all four of them mercilessly teased Jesse and Audrey. At breakfast, they wouldn’t leave them alone.

“Kids today,” Greg said, shaking his head.

“I know,” Chris agreed. “These youngsters and their little Dawson’s Creek. They just go off with the first person they meet.”

“No morals whatsoever,” Frankie said.

“Shut up,” Jesse said.

“We didn’t do anything!” Audrey added. “We were watching a movie and we both fell asleep. Usually we don’t fall asleep, but yesterday-”

Matt gasped and held a hand to his chest. “So this has happened more than once?”

“You guys are so horrible! Just let it go!” Audrey shrieked, laughing. Everyone else broke into laughter, too.

“Never, my dear,” Matt said, a mischievous grin on his face. “This is way too amusing.”

Audrey put a chunk of cream cheese from her bagel on a spoon and flicked it at Matt. It hit him square in the forehead, and the table burst into peals of laughter as he wiped it off.

Just then Denise strode into the room. She had a serious look on her face and walked right over to everyone without getting breakfast first.

“Hey, Denise,” Audrey said as she reached them.

Denise forced a smile. “Audrey, I need to talk to you. Privately.”

Audrey groaned inwardly. Had Matt told Denise that stupid story he made up about her and Jesse? She stood up and followed Denise into the lobby.

“Look, he just fell asleep in my room. Nothing happened,” Audrey rushed out before Denise could get a word in.

Denise paused and gave Audrey a confused look. “Okay, I don’t even want to know.”

Audrey bit her lip, confused. “Wait, this isn’t about the Jesse thing?”

Audrey could tell by the serious expression on Denise’s face that it wasn’t.

“What is it?” she asked, getting nervous.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jesse was worried about Audrey. He’d seen the serious look on Denise’s face when she came in and knew something was wrong.

Everything was going so well. What could be wrong?

Suddenly it dawned on him. Matt had blabbed about Jesse falling asleep in her room to Denise, and now Audrey and Jesse would get in trouble because Denise probably thought something bad had happened.

Jesse sighed. He thought back to when he woke up, confused, in Audrey’s room. The first thing he’d seen was her, with her sleepy look and messy hair from just waking up. It had immediately put him in a good mood, as cheesy as it sounds.

Jesse began to think about his feelings for Audrey. He had to admit it; he did have feelings for her. Romantic feelings. He had never met a girl like her, someone who could calm him down and make him laugh and always knew the right thing to do or say. He’d never met a girl that opinionated and loud-mouthed – but he liked that she was that way. It made her special.

The problem was that Audrey would never return his feelings. Audrey had told him many times that she just didn’t believe in love; she’d never witnessed it, never felt it, so how could she believe in it? That was her opinion, anyway. And the stubborn girl that she was, her opinion wouldn’t change.

She had helped him so much, though. She’d completely changed him, as dramatic as it sounds. If she hadn’t stopped him from turning into a totally selfish jerk, then no one would have. And after she helped him realize how stupid he was being, she helped him control his anger. She understood his feelings, talked to him, and took action – she convinced his parents to come to the most important show of his career. She helped him appreciate other people and even life more. She’d _saved_ him.

Jesse’s thoughts were interrupted when he saw Audrey coming back, an unreadable look on her face. When she returned to the table, she didn’t sit down. “Jesse, I need to talk to you,” she said in a shaky voice.

Jesse looked up, concerned. He immediately followed her upstairs, back to her room.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when she shut the door.

“My parents are coming,” she said. “Tonight, to the show in Ohio.”

“What? Why?” Jesse asked, bewildered. He was shocked. Her parents?

“I don’t know,” Audrey said. “But it can’t be good. Nothing with my parents is ever good.”

Jesse didn’t know what to do. Audrey looked just plain vulnerable, scared and on the verge of tears. He’d never seen her like this before. She was always the strong one, the one who knew what to say and what to do. So he just did what felt right, enveloping her in a big hug, rubbing her back to calm her down.

“It’s okay,” he whispered soothingly. “I’m sure it’s nothing. They probably just want to see you.”

Audrey shook her head. Jesse could feel her shaking. He wondered how bad her parents could possibly be to make her physically _shake_.

“They don’t want to just see me. That’s why they send me to boarding schools, and to this tour, even. They just don’t want to deal with me, so they think paying other people to deal with me will work just as well. They don’t care about me. They used to, a _little_ bit. But ever since I rejected their entire _world_ …” she trailed off. She stepped away and plopped down in a chair. Jesse seated himself on another chair.

Jesse closed his eyes. He couldn’t imagine what life would be like if his parents were like that. That was probably why Audrey was so independent… she had to be, because no one had ever really cared. _She is so incredibly strong_ , he thought.

“You’re amazing,” he murmured.

“What?” she asked. She hadn’t heard him.

“Nothing,” he said quickly, shaking his head. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Audrey… I’m really not good at this stuff, but I’m definitely here for you with this,” he said slowly, thinking about what he was saying. He paused. “I got your back,” he added lightly.

Audrey laughed a little. “Thanks, Jesse,” she said. She grew quiet. “That really means a lot to me, you know.” She hesitated. “No one’s ever cared about me that much before.”

“Well, I _am_ your friend,” Jesse said, shrugging.

Audrey smiled slowly. “You are, aren’t you?” she said quietly. “That’s amazing, isn’t it? Think about what things were like at the beginning of the tour.”

Jesse smiled, remembering. “I was such a jerk,” he said. “We got in fights every day.”

“I had never met a bigger asshole,” Audrey said, shaking her head. “I _hated_ you. You acted like you were the king of the world and everyone else should bow down to you. And it made me mad, because everyone else let you push them around. But I was _not_ gonna let you push me around.”

“I know,” Jesse said. “It surprised me. I was so used to everyone doing what I wanted, but you didn’t take my attitude at all. It frustrated me so much. I thought _you_ were a jerk, but now I know that that was just stupid.” He laughed.

“And then I totally yelled at you in front of everyone,” Audrey said. “That was just the last straw. I wasn’t gonna take anymore.”

“I was so embarrassed… because I knew you were right, I guess. When you said that stuff… I kind of came to terms with what had been going on. I knew I was a jerk in the back of my mind, but I didn’t want to admit it because it was just so _easy_ to always get my way.”

“And then you started to change.”

“It was so hard, at first.”

“I know.”

“You helped me a lot, though. And eventually it got easier, and now I’m completely normal.”

“You haven’t yelled at me for getting you an egg bagel instead of plain in _weeks_ ,” Audrey joked. “Look at us now!”

Jesse laughed. “You don’t need to rub it in,” he said, smiling. He paused. “But really… look at us now.”

“You’re my best friend in the whole world,” Audrey said half-jokingly. Jesse smiled, knowing that she was telling the truth.

“Really,” he said softly. “I can talk to you about anything.”

“And you watch Disney movies with me,” Audrey said. She grabbed his hand. “Best friends forever?”

“Forever,” Jesse repeated. “Trust me.”

The words hung in the air, an unanswered question. Audrey glanced at their hands and smiled. She squeezed Jesse’s hand. “I do,” she whispered. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” Jesse said, smiling. Audrey felt a bunch of butterflies flip around in her stomach as she smiled back.

Could he tell that she had these funny feelings for him? She kept telling herself that it was just a little crush – he’s cute, he’s nice, he’s funny, hooray! But something inside kept telling her that it was something more than a crush. Something deeper than that. She pushed the thought from her mind – there was never anything more serious than a crush.

She couldn’t let herself get all starry-eyed over Jesse. He was her best friend, and that was all she needed. She didn’t need love, or any of that crap. Did she want something like what her parents had? Not exactly. And if that was what love was… she didn’t need it. She couldn’t let herself fall.

* * *

Audrey was nervous about her parents coming for the rest of the day – on the bus ride to Ohio, during sound check, everything. She was quiet and reserved and the only person she would really talk to was Jesse.

“So what time are your parents coming?” Jesse asked her after sound check.

“They’re coming to the show – not that they really want to see it, but they have to pretend – but I’m not talking to them until after,” Audrey said.

“Well, don’t worry about it,” Jesse reassured her. “Everything’s fine.”

The day went by slowly for Audrey, torturing her. Finally the show came – although it felt like it was after a million years – and Audrey did her part with fake enthusiasm and ran offstage. As the guys came on, Jesse winked at her, and she headed to the bathroom to wash off her makeup.

“Audrey!” someone said.

Audrey froze. It was a voice she hadn’t heard in awhile, one that she dreaded hearing. It was the screeching, high-pitched, falsely sincere voice of her mother. She turned around slowly to see her parents walking backstage, heading straight for her.

“Mom and Dad,” Audrey said sarcastically. Mrs. Harper preferred the terms ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’. “What a surprise!”

Her parents didn’t pick up on the sarcasm. Her mom gave her a stiff hug, and her dad patted her arm awkwardly.

“I thought you weren’t coming to talk to me until after the concert,” Audrey said. Her parents ignored her comment.

“You did well out there,” her dad said stiffly. “You might consider an acting career. The stage, perhaps? Broadway?”

“That would be just magnificent!” her mother exclaimed, smiling, blinding Audrey with her bleached white teeth and tossing her shoulder-length bleached hair back. “My daughter, the actress.”

“Let’s go in the dressing room,” Audrey said, walking into the nearby room and shutting the door behind her parents. She turned around to face them, her arms crossed. “Why are you here?”

Her parents’ smiles disappeared. “Listen, young lady,” her mom said. “You did and said some horrible things. You humiliated the family. Do you know how many apologies we had to make to our friends for you? You could’ve ruined your chances of getting into an Ivy League School.”

“Could have?” Audrey said.

“Yes,” her mom said. “But you’re lucky.”

Audrey knew just what her mother was going to say next, and it was going to ruin everything.

* * *

As they finished the last song – the new single – Jesse’s face broke into a smile. He was happy with the show that night; the fans really liked the new song, and some of them already knew all the words. As the five guys walked off the stage, he looked around for Audrey but couldn’t find her. Were her parents here already?

“Where’s Audrey?” he asked Denise.

Denise looked at him with a funny look on her face. It was almost like pity. “Her parents took her back to the hotel.” Denise thought for a moment. “I think you should go there right now. I’ll have one of the buses take you.”

Jesse began to get nervous. Something had to be seriously wrong. The look on Denise’s face, and her telling him that he had to go see Audrey – this was serious. He snuck out a back door to one of the buses without being seen by any fans, and the bus brought him back to the hotel a few miles away. He ran inside and upstairs to Audrey’s room. He knocked on the door.

No one answered. He knocked again, more urgently this time. “Audrey, are you in there?” he asked. The door swung open.

Jesse looked at Audrey. Her face was pale from shock, and there was a hint of red around her eyes. She held some clothes in her arms, and Jesse looked past her into the room to see her putting all her stuff into suitcases.

“We’re staying in this hotel for two more days,” Jesse rushed out, confused. “Why are you packing?”

Audrey looked at him, a heartbreaking look on her face. He knew what she was going to say before she said it.

“I’m leaving. My parents came to take me home.”


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n:** One more chapter to go, and it’s just an epilogue – really short. This chapter’s the big one, and I hope everyone likes it. It may be just a tad bit sappy but… I think everyone can deal. Oh, and near the ends there’s a paragraph that begins “But, God, how could someone live like this?” The basic idea of that paragraph (mainly the beginning of it) was based on a paragraph from “This Lullaby” by Sarah Dessen – one of my favorite books and one you should definitely go read. So, anyway, before I bore you all to sleep… here’s the chapter.

**c h a p t e r n i n e**

**t h r o u g h t h e r a i n**

“What?” Jesse said in a shaky voice. “Why?”

Audrey just looked at him for a moment. Suddenly, she turned back into her room, walking over to her bed and throwing some clothes into a suitcase.

Jesse followed her into her room. “Audrey, why are you going home?”

Audrey turned around slowly, and Jesse saw why she had turned away from him. Tears were running slowly down her face, and she was trying not to cry. “They don’t understand me, Jesse. At all. I just don’t get it. They’re supposed to be my _parents_. Aren’t your parents supposed to care about your feelings?”

Jesse walked over to Audrey and grabbed her hands, pulling her close. “Audrey, _why_ are you _leaving_?” he asked urgently, his face only a few inches from hers.

“My parents convinced some other boarding school – in Maine, I think – to take me. I have to leave tomorrow morning to go home and get everything organized before I leave for school,” she whispered.

Both just stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, but then realized how close they really were to each other and broke apart, looking away.

“Didn’t you argue with them?” Jesse asked desperately.

“I tried at first,” Audrey said. “They wouldn’t listen. They say I have to get into an Ivy League school - for the family’s reputation – and this is the only way.”

“You can keep fighting,” Jesse said. “You’re a _fighter_ , Audrey, you’re such a _fighter_. Don’t let them win.”

Audrey shook her head slowly and sadly. “There’s nothing I can do. I leave tomorrow morning at eight.” She bit her lip, but then broke into tears again. “I don’t want to leave, Jesse, I don’t want to. Everyone here is so awesome – the guys, and Denise, and you, especially, and I don’t want to go. I just feel like I fit in here.”

“You do,” Jesse said. “It’s not going to be the same if you go. We’re gonna miss you so much, Audrey. No one can replace you.”

Audrey buried her head in his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her, and she began to let the tears flow freely. Why did it all have to end so suddenly?

* * *

When the other guys returned to the hotel, Audrey told them that she was leaving. They all protested, insisting that she stay, that the tour wouldn’t be the same without her, but there was nothing anyone could do. She was leaving the next morning, and that was that.

After she spoke to the guys, Matt walked over to her. “Hey, Audrey, come into my room for a second,” he said.

Audrey followed him into his room. “Yeah?” she asked.

“What are you gonna do about Jesse?” he asked.

Audrey was confused. “What about him?”

“You know what I mean,” Matt said with a small smile. “Are you gonna tell him that you like him?”

“What?” Audrey asked, shocked. How… how did he know? “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t even try to deny it,” Matt said. “You are totally in love with the boy.”

Audrey shook her head. “No, no I’m not-”

“You don’t have to be afraid. He likes you too.”

“Really?” Audrey said. “Did he tell you that?”

“No, but I figured it out the way I figured out that you like him. It’s just obvious, the way you talk to each other and even just the way you _look_ at each other. He worships you, Audrey. I can see it in his eyes.”

“I can’t tell him,” she whispered. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of… of… I don’t know. But I’m scared.”

“Look, I’m not gonna bug you about it. But I think you should do it. You guys are perfect for each other.”

Audrey said good night to Matt and walked back to her room, thinking about what he had said. She tried to push it out of her mind; she already had enough stress on her plate.

That night – Audrey’s last on the tour – was to begin like all the others, although it would end differently. Jesse came into the room at about one, and they popped in a Disney movie. Audrey was silent, watching the movie, for about fifteen minutes, until Jesse broke the silence.

“This isn’t forever, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we’re still gonna see you. It’s not _over_.”

“When are we going to see each other? I’m gonna be in Maine until next June, and who knows where you’ll be by then,” Audrey said.

“We’ll find a way,” Jesse whispered. “And plus… there’s the phone, and AOL.”

“We can only call family from school, and we don’t get AOL at boarding school,” she said shortly.

Audrey turned her head back to the TV screen, and Jesse sighed. She was pulling away from him. He could feel it. In just one night, she was going to try to get rid of their friendship. To numb the pain. To make it easier to leave.

It was ironic, really. In the beginning, Jesse had been the one who kept his distance. But now, after all that time, Audrey would be the one to push him away. And maybe forever.

He couldn’t let her end it. Not when he had these feelings for her, when he was in love with her.

As soon as his brain finished processing that thought, shock hit him. _In love?_ I mean… sure, he had feelings for her. He’d had them for awhile, but kept them hidden from Audrey, and even from himself. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that maybe it could be true. He treasured Audrey more than anything in the world. He could trust her. He could tell her anything and believe anything she said. He could spend forever with her without getting annoyed at her. He could talk to her for hours, or he could just sit and watch a movie with her and be perfectly happy. She was always there for him. And he always wanted to be there for her.

The realization suddenly hit him that what he had described – his feelings for Audrey – matched exactly what she had described love as during that first day of tutoring. Back then, he disagreed. But now he was smarter. He had learned, and now he knew what she meant. He believed it. He _felt_ it.

He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her so badly, to have her smile and hug him and tell him that she would be there forever. Sometimes he thought she loved him to, when she gave him that special smile and whispered to him so secretly. But he couldn’t tell her, couldn’t admit his feelings. She didn’t believe in love, really, anyway. And she was closing off to him quickly. If it was going to happen at all, it was too late now.

He shook his head and sighed. He never had a chance with her anyway. He just had to forget it.

Audrey glanced at Jesse, seeing him shake his head and hearing him sigh. _‘He’s sick of me already,’_ she thought. _‘He just wants me to leave. He’s wasting his time now.’_

What use was it anymore? Who cared if she loved the boy? She was leaving, and they would probably never see each other again. He would move on. Not that he had ever liked her like _that_ in the first place. How could he, when she had made it seem like her heart was made of stone or something?

Maybe it wasn’t stone. Maybe it was ice – frozen and cold, and sort of bitter. But it could melt. And it had melted. She didn’t quite know when she realized it – realized that she loved him – but it was probably around the time she realized that she trusted him. That he was the only person she’d ever trusted, and she never even believed in trust. He was amazing. He had taught her so much, opened her up so much, showed her that people weren’t all that bad. Or maybe just one person. Maybe he was just special.

When she first realized that she loved him, she tried to ignore it. She pushed the feelings aside. She was scared. She was scared of being hurt, of giving her heart to Jesse and having it shattered into a million pieces.

She wanted to tell him so badly, though. Sometimes she thought that he liked her – he treated her so well, always being there for her. And when he looked into her eyes, she felt a spark, chemistry. Something she’d never felt before, and she had to wonder if he could feel it, too. She wanted to tell him and have him love her back, and love her forever. And now Matt had told her that Jesse liked her, but she didn’t quite believe him. And she couldn’t tell Jesse. She didn’t want to get hurt.

And so the two spent their last night thinking about each other but never acting upon their actions, and the night ended badly. Each thought the other was closing off, and both were miserable. Their friendship was fading quickly.

* * *

Audrey woke up the next morning and the first thing she saw was the dreary gray sky out the window. It fit her mood perfectly. She got up and ready, finished packing a few things, and wandered into the hallway. No one was up yet, so she walked back into her room. She felt so alone.

At eight o’clock, Audrey’s parents came up to her room. “Let’s go,” her mom said.

“But I want to say goodbye,” Audrey protested. “I have to say goodbye. But none of them are awake.”

Her mother rolled her eyes. “They’re all down in the lobby waiting for you.”

Audrey sighed, ignoring her mother’s impatient tone, and took her time walking downstairs (the bellboy would be taking her luggage to her parent’s car). She immediately spotted Denise and the guys and realized just how hard these goodbyes would be.

She said goodbye to Denise first.

“We’ll miss you,” Denise said. “We could never find someone like you.”

“Thank you,” Audrey said, smiling. “And thank you so much for taking me on this tour. You’ll never know how much it means to me. You were so helpful, I can’t thank you enough. You were like… my mom on the tour.”

She gave Denise a hug and moved on to the guys. Frankie was first.

“My big brother,” she said, giving him a hug.

“We’ll miss you, Audrey. No one can make us laugh like you do,” he said. “And we might not still be on this tour at all if it weren’t for you. You like… _rescued_ Jesse from life as an asshole. I’ll miss you. And you better keep in touch, okay?”

“Of course,” Audrey said. Although she couldn’t call or e-mail them, she had gotten all of their addresses the night before to write them letters.

Chris was next. “Remember that first day, when you totally showed me up in front of all the fans by busting out ‘Fat Lip’?” he asked.

“I’ll never forget the look on your face,” Audrey said, laughing. “You never messed with me again after that.”

“You got spunk, girl,” Chris said, hugging her. “Stay the way you are. I’ll miss you.”

Greg was next. “You helped me out so much, Greg,” Audrey said, giving him a hug. “You made me feel so at home when I first came, always asking me what I wanted to do when we hung out and showing me where everything was. That meant a lot to me.”

“Aww, Audrey. It was no trouble at all. Anything for you!” he said dramatically, winking. “I’ll miss ya.”

Matt – her best friend on the tour, besides Jesse, of course – was next.

“Matty, I’m gonna miss you so much!” Audrey said, hugging him tightly. “You’re awesome. Remember when we totally crushed everyone on X-Box that first day? And when you helped me out with getting Jesse’s parents to the show?”

“How could I forget?” Matt said, grinning. “This tour won’t be the same without you on my team for X-Box. I’ll have to play with _Frankie_. We’ll go down _big time_.”

Audrey laughed, and Matt leaned in to whisper something, a more serious look on his face. “Are you gonna tell Jesse?”

Audrey’s smile faded. “I- um, I-”

Matt shook his head and gave her a small grin. “You still got time to make a move. Come on, take the initiative.” He then grew serious for a moment. “Really, though. Just follow your heart, Audrey, okay? You’re an awesome girl.”

“Thanks, Matty. You’re awesome, too. I’m gonna miss you,” Audrey said. She looked past Matt.

There stood Jesse, the last one, his hands jammed into his pockets.

“Hey,” she said softly, walking over to him. _‘Should I do what Matt said? Should I tell him? Does he really like me?’_

“Hey,” Jesse said. _‘Is it too late? Can I tell her that I love her?’_

“I don’t want to say goodbye to you,” Audrey said. “You’re my best friend.” _‘Do it! Just say it! No, don’t! You don’t want to end up with a broken heart!’_ She didn’t want a broken heart. She couldn’t tell him. She just couldn’t.

Audrey looked distracted and nervous. “I know,” he said. _‘She just wants to leave. She wants to get out of here. I can’t tell her now.’_

“Audrey, let’s go now,” her mother said. “We’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes. We have to get back to the city. Let’s go!”

“I guess this is it,” she said.

“Yeah,” Jesse said.

“Um,” Audrey said. “Well-”

“Now, Audrey!” her mother screeched.

“You better go,” Jesse said. He couldn’t take the look on her face anymore. She just wanted to leave.

Audrey was startled. Did he want her to go that badly? “Okay,” she said. “Well… goodbye, then.”

“Goodbye,” he said. He gave her a quick hug. Emotionless. Nothing.

Audrey followed her mom out of the lobby, into the parking lot, to the car her father was waiting in. As soon as they got in, he headed slowly for the exit of the hotel.

Through the rearview mirror, Audrey watched the guys, who had all walked outside and were waving to her energetically and goofing around – all except Jesse, who just stood there with his hands in his pockets.

She never meant to fall for Jesse. God, it doesn’t even sound like a good thing. Falling? You get hurt when you fall. You let yourself go and hope, but you always end up hurt, somehow. You’re gonna land on the ground and get cut or bruised or _something_.

_‘He worships you, Audrey. I can see it in his eyes.’_ Matt’s words popped into her head. Could he really like her too? Should she have told him… just to see what would happen? If she wasn’t going to see him again if she didn’t tell him… what difference would it have made? But it was too late – she was leaving. And she wasn’t someone who put her heart on the line, anyway.

Why not? Why wasn’t she someone who put her heart on the line? _‘Because it would get broken,’_ she told herself. But… sometimes you just have to risk it, don’t you? You have to be _willing_ to put your heart on the line. Because if he’s worth it, then you just have to try. Was Jesse worth it? Of course he was. She knew it, and she felt it. But what if he told her he didn’t like her…

But, God, how could someone live like this? When you find someone worth fighting for, you have to fight for them. You can’t just back away because you’re afraid. You have to go for what you want and speak your mind. And Audrey had always done that, hadn’t she? If you just wait for things to happen to you… they never happen. You have to go for it. You have to _jump_.

So maybe, then, she didn’t want to fall in love. Maybe she wanted to _jump_ in love. Falling in love… well, when you fall, you do it by accident. You don’t mean it, and you really don’t want to do it. But when you jump, you do it on purpose. And she wanted to be with Jesse. But the only way that would happen would be if she jumped. Because she knew… she knew that he would be there to catch her. She just knew.

So she let her heart lead her. “Wait!” she yelled, and her father slammed on the brakes. They were almost out of the parking lot.

“What?” her mother said crankily.

Audrey didn’t answer. She just opened her car door and started running. Running back, because she had to get to Jesse.

As she was running, it started to rain. It was just a light drizzle, the cool drops sprinkling her hair. As she got closer, the rain picked up. By the time she stood in front of Jesse – just a foot away – they both were completely drenched. Her hair was dripping, raindrops were running down her face, but she didn’t care.

“Jesse,” she whispered in a barely audible voice. But he heard her.

“Yeah?” he asked. He was a little confused.

“You know how I told you that I don’t believe in love, because I’ve never seen it before?” She didn’t wait for him to respond. “Well I do now. Because… because I felt it. I feel it. I’m in love with you,” she finished, looking into his eyes unsurely, waiting for what he would say.

Jesse stood there, frozen for a few minutes, and Audrey’s hopes sank. Was she stupid? Why had she done that? Of course he didn’t love her –

Her thoughts were cut off as he cupped her face with his hands and kissed her. She stopped thinking, and just felt. She felt the chemistry between them, the sparks when they touched. She felt the comfort of knowing that it was Jesse, who she trusted more than anyone in the world. She felt all the feelings that she had kept inside for the past days, weeks, even, and gave him her whole heart and soul in that kiss.

They pulled away and Audrey looked at him, searching his eyes. “Do you-”

“I love you,” he said. “God, of course I love you. I’ve loved you for so long… but I couldn’t tell you. I thought you didn’t love anyone.”

“I didn’t. But… you changed me. You tell me that I saved you this summer, but you saved me too. You taught me how to love someone,” she said.

Suddenly they heard clapping and whistling, and Audrey looked over to see the other guys of Dream Street standing about ten feet away from them.

“Oh,” she said. “Hey, guys.”

“Finally!” Chris exclaimed. “You guys have been ridiculous. I was getting sick of it!”

Everyone laughed, and Matt spoke. “Taking the initiative,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

Audrey glanced at her parents car. She saw her mom standing next to the car, hands on her hips, and knew she was in big trouble. But she didn’t really care.

“I gotta go,” she said to the guys. She looked at Jesse. “So… this is _really_ it.”

“Yeah,” he said. He paused, thinking. “Look… I know we’re not gonna see each other for awhile. But I’ll be waiting for you, okay?” He smiled. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” she whispered back, giving him one more quick kiss. She then turned toward the car and started walking very slowly, still getting soaked with the rain.

She had done it. She had told Jesse she loved him, and he loved her back. She started laughing with happiness and stopped where she was, halfway to the car, and spun around in circles, throwing her hands out. She stuck her face up to the rain and laughed at it. Nothing could ruin her happiness.

Audrey walked back to the car and got in. She shut the door.

“What was that?” her mother snapped. “That was so embarrassing.”

Audrey smiled slowly. “Good,” she said. “I’m glad. But do you know what I’m more glad about? I’m really, truly happy right now. Something you’ve probably never been. And I’m gonna enjoy it.”

Her father just shook his head, pulling out of the parking lot quickly to begin the long ride home. Audrey was so happy she could’ve flown home.

Maybe she didn’t know what was going to happen next. She wasn’t going to see Jesse for awhile, and who knew what could happen between now and then? All she knew was that the boy she loved was in love with her too, and she was happy. Who could ask for more than that?


	11. Chapter 11

**a/n:** So sorry this took so long to get out… I’ve been so busy and I didn’t feel that well last week so I really didn’t feel like writing this itty-bitty little chapter. Anyway, this chapter is the end of Not Quite a Fairy Tale and the end of my first fan fiction (yay!). I’ll have more to say about that in my little spiel (love that word), which I will give you in a separate chapter-type-thing. I’ll also tell you what I’m planning to do next there. For now, here’s the ending to Not Quite a Fairy Tale.

**c h a p t e r t e n**

**w h a t n o w**

For awhile, Audrey just sat in the car taking in everything that had happened. But after awhile, she got the feeling that she should _do_ something instead of just sit in the car watching the raindrops slide down the window. What she really wanted was to talk to Jesse, but she couldn’t – and she had to get used to that feeling.

She got an idea and took out a piece of paper and pen. She chewed on the top of the pen, wondering how to begin, and then just decided to write what she felt and see what she came up with.

Dear Jesse,

I wanted to talk to you, but I obviously can’t, so I’m writing you this letter to tell you what I want to say. I’m in the car, and I saw you about a half hour ago, and I miss you already. I’m not going to get all cheesy because we’ve had enough of that, but I really do miss you. I sound pathetic, don’t I? Anyway. I have a couple things to say so I’ll just get started and stop talking about stupid meaningless stuff.

Okay. First of all, you know I’m not an optimist and I tend to look at things pretty realistically. When I look at the situation we’re in now, I don’t see the greatest things. One, you are really famous and busy. Two, I’m getting shipped off to boarding school. One call – to parents only – a week. No e-mail. (Pyscho, I know, but my parents like my schools that way) With both of our situations, this leaves room for practically no communication. For Christmas I go with my parents to whatever tropical island is hot with their crowd at the time, and I don’t go home for any other holidays. So forget seeing each other until next summer. The only way we can communicate is by writing. With a pen. And paper. We can write letters to each other if you want to do that – I’ll definitely give it a shot. I don’t know how well it’ll work, though. I mean, writing letters takes a long time. I read somewhere about this famous couple…I forget who… who had a relationship through letters and it worked. So I guess we could try this, but if you’ve ever had a pen pal before you know it’s not as easy as it seems.

I just looked at what I wrote and it sounds like I’m trying to convince you to stop talking to me. And, jeez, I don’t want that. I love you, you know I do. I wish that we could see each other and call each other and everything, but we can’t. And maybe it’ll work, because we both want it to work, but looking at it realistically, it might not. But I think we should try.

Okay, that was one thing I wanted to say. The other major thing I want to say is – sometime in the future, if you find a girl that you like and you want to ask her out or kiss her or marry her or whatever – go ahead. If we’re not going to see each other, then you should be free to be with someone else if you want to, because this kind of relationship is so hard. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel like you’re cheating. It hurts to write this, because I want to be with you, but I also want what’s best for you, and if you want to be with another girl then go ahead. But hey… I _don’t_ mean to go out right now to pick up chicks just because I said this.

Okay, I’m starting to ramble again. I hope you understand what I’m trying to say because I’m not very good at getting my thoughts down on paper. I guess basically what I’m saying is, we should try to make this work, but if it doesn’t, don’t feel guilty. You can be with someone else. I guess I could be with someone else, too, but this great new boarding school is an all-girls school, so I doubt I’ll be meeting any guys.

I guess that’s pretty much all I have to say until you write back and tell me what you think. I miss you and I love you.

Audrey

Audrey reread the letter and folded it in half, satisfied. She had said what she wanted to say as well as she could. She wanted Jesse to be happy – and herself, too, obviously – and if that meant them not being together, then that’s how it would just have to be.

Audrey let out a yawn and realized that she was pretty exhausted. She had been through a lot emotionally that day, and her brain needed a rest. She put on her headphones, flipped the switch on her Walkman to Radio and closed her eyes, leaning back into her seat. As she listened to the words of the song mixing with the gentle tapping noises of the raindrops on the windows, a slow smile crept across her face.

_I thought love was more or less a given thing_

_Seems the more I gave the less I got_

_What's the use in tryin'?_

_All you get is pain_

_When I needed sunshine I got rain…_

She used to think all love brought was pain, too. But, then again, she also got rain today instead of sunshine, and everything had turned out okay in the end. Maybe… maybe rain isn’t so bad. And maybe love isn’t, either…

With that thought she drifted into a peaceful sleep.

end.

_Lyrics from “I’m a Believer” by the Monkees. Wow… twice in one story. Hmm…_


	12. Chapter 12

**My End-of-the-Story Ramblings**

Let me just say that if you don’t want to read this whole thing, you can skip to the important part. That’s the part in italics near the end. For anyone else who wants to waste their time reading my ramblings…

Whew! All done with Not Quite a Fairy Tale… my first story… my baby…sniff. Look at how it’s grown! Haha, yeah, I know I’m funny (sense the sarcasm). But really, this story is kind of special to me because it’s my first long one (69 pages… ooh dirty number! _Bad_ story…) Let me bore you with a little biography of this story…

It all began one day a long time ago that I don’t really remember. I was really bored and this idea popped into my head. So many fan fictions are about people with wishy-washy personalities, and I kind of got sick of it. So I was wondering what would happen if there were two characters – count ‘em, folks, not one but two – with really strong personalities, and Not Quite a Fairy Tale was born. It took a decently long amount of time to write, partly because it was just a difficult story to write, partly because I’m very busy and partly because I’m a procrastinator. It’s first home was fanfiction.net, but then they dumped me and little Not Quite a Fairy Tale on the street. Luckily, we found Lauren (whose stories I had read on ff.n and we had reviewed each other’s stuff a couple times), a very smart, nice, and patient person who heroically saved NQAFT from being homeless and abandoned. Lauren gets the shiny sparkly crown for helping me so, so much. Everyone clap for Lauren! J

That’s the end of the bio, I guess. Now let’s play a fun game where I answer questions.

What was your inspiration for this story?

Well, let’s see. Jesse was inspired by stories I’ve heard about Jesse, partially, and partially off of my imagination. Audrey was inspired partially by Remy from This Lullaby (one of my favorite books ever – it’s by Sarah Dessen, you should read it) and a little bit by me, but you don’t want to hear about me so we’ll move on. The plot came from my imagination.

I’m a fan fiction writer – what advice do you have for me?

Read what Lauren wrote about writing (it’s on this site). Everything she says is so, so very true. Besides that… something I’ve noticed recently is that a lot of stories flow the exact same way throughout them… like they’re all short lines of dialogue. That’s really just undeveloped writing, and you should try to mix it up with longer lines of dialogue and descriptive non-dialogue stuff. Describing people’s expressions and actions can do a lot for a story. For example, instead of “Kate became sad” try “Kate looked down and bit her lip as tears filled her eyes.” I just think it’s more interesting that way.

Who’s your favorite member of Dream Street?

Hee! Kind of random, kind of not. To tell you the truth… I really don’t like Dream Street all that much. How did I get involved in Dream Street fan fiction, then? Well, I like to write. And I was reading some stuff at fanfiction.net one day and I saw some Dream Street stuff and I had vaguely heard of them before. I think they’re good to write about because they’re teenagers who already have some basic traits and stuff. It just makes it easier, kind of. I’m bored with this question, moving on…

What are you going to write next?

Let’s see… soon I’m going to put up a very short story called “hummingbird” (no caps! it’s special that way…). It’s gonna be shorter than “the choice”. and it’s about Frankie! Yay for Frankie (sorry, I’m hyper)! After that I’m starting the sequel to Not Quite a Fairy Tale… which has a fun name that I’m not telling until I post the first chapter. As to when, exactly, that will be posted… please refer to the announcement below. Whee, that was a fun sentence!

Okay, here’s my important announcement. Anyone who skipped down to read the important part… here it is. Hee. Okay, I’m gonna be serious now. Hee. You know those times when it’s really, really serious and you really, really can’t laugh so of course you start cracking up and making funny noises? Well this isn’t one of those times but I’m laughing anyway. ANYWAY, here’s the REALLY IMPORTANT PART. The first chapter of the Not Quite a Fairy Tale sequel is not going up until I get more reviews for Not Quite a Fairy Tale. If you are a writer, you know what it’s like when you work really hard on something and post it and you know people are reading it, but no one says anything. If not, then think of it like… you work really hard on an essay for school and you hand it in and your teacher didn’t write anything on it at all. You ask your teacher what he or she thought, but she ignores you. That’s kind of what it’s like… although that was a really bad comparison. Anyway, it’s frustrating because I want to know what the people who read my stories think. I know people read them – there’s a counter thing on the web site – and I want you to review. Ask me a question! Tell me you think my story is the worst thing ever to exist and I should never write again! Just please, please tell me what you think. If you don’t want to write a review, write me an e-mail. That would be very cool and special. **I’m not putting up the first chapter of the Not Quite a Fairy Tale sequel until I get at least 5 more reviews.** That’s not so hard, is it? More than 5 would be nice, but for now I’ll take 5. And I know you might think it’s lame for me to be doing this, but I’m getting frustrated and I just want to know what people think.

Okay, done with all the serious, important stuff! Now let’s throw glitter around and have a party to celebrate the end of the story! Woohoo! Thanks again to Lauren for being awesome! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Thanks to everyone who read! Wheeee! And now I’ll take my glitter and hyperness and let you all get back to your lives (and reviews!). Love you all!


End file.
